Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
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Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
| Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm |
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.
I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.
The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?
Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

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Do you think it would beneficial to temporily remove a child from who they would be better of with for a short period of time, possibly changing their friends, etc and then moving them again for a final time?
What about continuation of care and keeping them on some sort of normalcy?
Even before we had the nanny, with the exception of othercare, as dual WOHPs we still managed to take care of the cleaning, shopping, cooking, etc.
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Well, um, in our case yes. We might debate at times about what constitutes 50% (and that debate usually revolves around chores we both hate), but there has never even been a hint of a discussion about the need for both of us to contribute to the household chores and kid duties, and dh usually just pitches right in and deals with what needs to be done. Most families I know are like that, but I'll admit it is not universal and I know several families who have similar struggles to yours.
Laura
Wow, that stinks!
"I do certainly see that not everyone wishes to have or can afford a nanny, or might have more "life things" that require a spouse to do. We don't have home based businesses or real estate or other investments that require time consuming management. We don't have such an active social life that we must spend time to arrange to host and attend parties. There are a million other variables (pets are a good example) of where a SAHP might be valuable. "
We had none of the above factors and yet there were reasons why having a SAHP when we did made absolute sense. One other thing I think you tend to miss out a lot on is that people's plans, needs and goals can change over time and require a certain amount of flexibility. You seem to assume that having a SAHP at some point means a family aims to have a SAHP for life. That is just not the reality I know. The vast majority of women (even in the US) return to the work force by the time (and often before) the children start school.
Laura
Edited 5/5/2004 10:45 am ET ET by laura_w2
"I am absolutely surprised though at the lack of gratitude on the part of SAHMs that the WOHPs' work is what enables them the luxury of not pursuing paid employment. . . ." This is a classic example of what I mean by your premise that women who SAH either are, or darned well ought to be, subservient to their WOH spouses. We DO realize and appreciate that our WOH spouse contributes to our family, just as our WOH spouses realize that WE contribute to our family. No boot-licking necessary or desirable on EITHER part. Your very premise that SAH is a 'luxury' given to the SAHS by the WOHS and that our 'appreciation' for that 'luxury' ought to look like putting china on the table and spreading our legs afterward is colossally offensive.
"People's plans, needs and goals can change over time and require a certain amount of flexibility."
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