Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:46am

No. I'm simply saying that I can't put myself in the scenario you presented and draw any conclusions from it because it wouldn't happen. I would not cheat.


We might have gotten divorced even if xh hadn't had the affair.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:46am
you are very lucky. most men i know do way less than my dh takes iniative to do. i think we can chalk it up to how we were raised. my brother does a lot without being asked as well, although he wasnt as cooperative when living home, because he had the attitude the "girls" can do it. i remember the first thanksgiving after he was married, he stood up from the table(before lauren and i had a chance) and started clearing it off. of course you know i had to run my big mouth. "you know how to do that????". LOL. i couldnt believe it!! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:46am

That was my point.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:52am

WH-HAT!?!?!?!?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:52am
Are you suggesting FDE and GKK comfortably support alimony for sahms? They are openly opposed to it. Other wohms here are by no means supporting alimony for sahms. But certainly PNJ and others have been open that women should work in case they divorce. It's not a stretch that there is little support here for sah, period. That's why this is becoming one long debate. It's an eye-opener for me. And I think misty-eyed, cocoapop and some of the sahms are defending alimony for sahms and the right to sah despite the odds of divorce.

Do you fully and happily support alimony for sahms at a time when many wohms are being denied alimony because they work and have an income? I don't think any wohm has happily supported alimony for sahms under those circumstances. The OP mentioned alimony as punishment, and that's been consistent with the notion that sahms are getting alimony while wohms do not.

(I also disagree that wohms will necessarily be denied alimony, but that hasn't been fully addressed here.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:59am
60 hours of WOH is not an insane amount of time to WOH.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:04pm

ITA.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:04pm
I'm not sure I'm reading your post or the wink icon right.

But isn't the next logical step in your earlier argument (working affords protection in case of divorce) that all women should work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:07pm
Hello. She asked for and is taking spousal support even though AZ law doesn't grant it. There are a myriad of reasons why her xh may have agreed, but it doesn't nullify the fact that she demanded and is taking his financial support (above and beyond child support) for years after the marriage, becasue she feels she deserves. (Obviously she was lying when she said he has never supported her, so that calls into question her other posts as well.) Apparently, her xh though, because he was a bad boy, does not deserve to spend regular time with his kids.

We don't know if he agreed to the move away because he knew she'd go anayway, or because he was an unloving crappy father (although none of her posts say this), or to simply stop the fighting of the divorce. That he agreed to the move speaks nothing of the morality of taking your kids away from a loving, nonabusive parent just because you can and want to do so. The kids needs (such as a father) come far above her desires to live in the state where she has family.

They chose as a family to go to AZ. They chose as a family to have her work less. Seems she wants to be compensated when the family choices cost her money (through alimony payments) but she doesn't want to accept the consequences of her other choices, like agreeing that all would live in AZ. I agreed to move to TX for dh, since his family is here. I have no realtives here. But I wouldn't dream of taking our kids and moving states away if we divorced, because kids deserve to have their parents in their lives, daily if at all possible.

It is what any loving parent should want to provide, whether married to the other parent or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:08pm
Well, if you want to have children within a marriage, you need to get married.

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