Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:01pm
The only thing I'm supporting is my opinion that you tend to lump ALL WOHMs into one convenient little group which makes it so much easier for you to make your sweeping generalizations.

<> And why should they? Are SAHMs more special than any other group of women? Do they deserve more applause than any other group of women?

<> I see them saying that women are better off having something to fall back on because it's not guaranteed for you or any of us that divorce will not happen.

<> Oh, boo hoo. And why should there be? I don't support either "side" more than the other because I don't see one as being superior to the other. Again are SAHMs more special than any other group of women or people just because they SAH?

<> I support spousal support on a case-by-case basis. I don't oppose it or support it in general.

<> Again, are SAHMs more special than any other group of women or people? I don't support spousal support simply based on work status.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:02pm
Then we disagree. In my family, that would constitute not spending enough time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:14pm
Well, FTR, I consider that amount of hrs selfish if they other WOH or SAH, so daycare really doesn't have anything to do with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:17pm
OK, exactly what part of your post sets you apart from the WOHMs I've been discussing? If anything, your reply here supports my lumping you guys together. "Boo, hoo" why do sahms think they're so special? Nice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:18pm
I guess you just don't see what I mean.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:20pm
Ahh yes, such a shame I was conceived before Roe v Wade. Or that my mother was naive. I guess when she realized the error of her ways - having children, believing in someone she loved - that she should have dropped us off with Catholic Charities, when he left to live with his pg girlfriend.

<>

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:21pm
I guess that's just a matter of opinion.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:23pm
Are you suggesting that you *are* more special simply because you're a SAHM?

Edited to add:

I noticed you conveniently quoted my "boo hoo" but did not feel it necessary to put it in context and also quote this: "I don't support either "side" more than the other because I don't see one as being superior to the other." You also conveniently didn't acknowledge where I said: "I support spousal support on a case-by-case basis. I don't oppose it or support it in general."




Edited 5/5/2004 2:00 pm ET ET by laurenmom2boys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:24pm
I misunderstood her post. She cleared up my misunderstanding in a different subthread. If she were, as you claim, "lying," she wouldn't have done so.

She "demanded" support? Were you there? If under AZ law, she's not entitled to receive it, that would be pretty easy for her ex to "deny" even if she were to "demand" it (which I don't believe for a minute.)

It's "immoral" for her to move back to OK? He's incapable of moving too? Seems like the only thing interfering with his ability to see them on a daily basis by moving to OK is a move's current incompatibility with his current place to put that pesky lil' thing between his legs. After all, as a working kind of guy, it won't be stressful for him to get a new job, right? "It is what any loving parent should want to provide, whether married to the other parent or not." Right. Everything Hollie has ever posted that I've read suggests that she DID want to provide a close relationship between her kids and her ex, both before and after the divorce. Being that far apart might or might not be the decision my DH and I would have made but I can very well tell you I don't question THEIR ability to make the right choice for THEIR circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:45pm
No, I see what you mean. For your family, you do not want to work (or have your DH work) 60-80 hours a week. That's fine, that's your choice for your family.

It's when you sit on your high horse and say that those who choose differently from your family are SELFISH that I don't "see what you mean."

All families make decisions (hopefully) based on what is best for their family. If a family chooses to have a SAHM and a DH who works 70 hours a week, I don't think automatically that they are being selfish. Also, if a family chooses to have a DH who works 40 hours a week and the wife attends medical school I don't think automatically that they are being selfish.

It's this automatic assumption of "selfishness" of yours that I don't get.

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