Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
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Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
| Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm |
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.
I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.
The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?
Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

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Unless you and Felicia are suddenly the same people, then I didn't say that is what you believe.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
My point was that if Felicia feels that a SAHP should be sooooo thankful to the WOHP for WOH, then the SAHP should be sooooo thankful to the SAHP for SAH.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
C
The decision to SAH wasn't mine alone, DH played a big part in it. Also, we've got one of those marriages in which b/c I'm home, he can maximize his earning potential. He makes the money he does, in part, b/c I'm home minding the home fires (a fact I can prove, his earnings jumped when I quit working...his income nearly doubled that year and has stayed at that level consistently since I've been SAH).
Yes, I would absolutely expect support equal to what I've sacrificed by being home.
C
I wouldn't be surprised if the parents working 60-70 hr weeks or going to medical school do so with the expectation that in a few yrs things will improve and their jobs will be more secure. Raising children takes many yrs and I wouldn't give up an opportunity for more money and a better position if it was only going to take a few yrs of 60-70 hr-weeks to ensure that. In the long run, it's selfless since it improves the family's situation.
There are lots of wome who give up something for the sake of their families. I don't think spouses need to be "especially thankful" that the other spouse pursues a path that they both agreed is best.
Jenna
Jenna
And you have options
1)decide it makes you feel useful to be the only one in the family who can do dishes and laundry and be happy (what WOULD they all do without you???)
2)develop a taste for women, divorce your husband and marry your nanny (in my next life I've decided I'm going to be either a heterosexual male, or a lesbian)
3)realize that it took at least 20yrs of not being responsible for anything but self to create your adult male, realize it will take you AT LEAST 30 more to undo that (adults learn more slowly than kids), keep plugging away at it and be happy
4)Run self ragged doing everything to avoid confrontation and conflict and turn into perpetual passive aggressive super b*tch as a result
I have two human males in my home. One is 7. One is 35. The 35 yr old has these life skills above and beyond those exhibited by the 7 yr old 1)can read just about anything in english plus one other language 2)can tell time reliably EVEN on clock with round face and hands 3)has drivers license AND can reach pedals and steering wheel simultaneously. Which means...the 35 yr old can read a wall calandar and then use his time telling and driving abilities to get the 7 yr old to gymnastics on time, and home on time. See how useful that is to the 7 yr old. However. If say, the 7yr old arrives home on time at 8:30 pm on Tues after gymnastics (thanks to Dads advanced adult male skills he was picked up from after care in time, fed supper, dropped off at gym on time and picked up from gym on time)...and the wall calendar did not specifically note "Tues 8:30 pm - take 7 yr old inside and begin bedtime routine" then chances are great that should 7 yr quip "Dad...lets take shots!!!!" upon arrival in garage at 8:30 rather than "Dad...its time for me to get ready for bed!"...that 7 yr old and 35 yr old WILL BE FOUND at 9:30...still taking shots on net in garage...without HUMAN FEMALE ADULT INTERVENTION...(or 10yr old female child intervention for that matter - Moooommmmm Dad and brother are in garage taking shots...*&*^&*^&...kick them out please). I see no REAL end. Its just all very by rote with my husband. He now knows that if I made supper its a real bad idea to assume I'll do the dishes, make lunches, and see about ends of homework and bedtime routines...while he watches hockey...so it gets better...but its a work in progress and will probably always be one. Options 1) and 2) don't cut it with me. I have to go with 3). I can't even consider 4 - bring on the confrontation.
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