Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:21am
Let me abstract it a bit for you.

Your husband believes you have made it impossible for the marriage to continue - and divorces you. The determination of whether or not YOU have made a marriage impossibe - is not up to you - its up to the spouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:27am
Uh-uh. No way. Absolutely NOT.

A healthy MARRIAGE is one that can survive and thrive even though the day to day living of it more closely approximates a soap opera than a fairy tale. A marriage is real life - where people just have to accept that they are married to human beings. And those just aren't nice and considerate and selfless 7x24. And they don't always agree with each other either.

A healthy BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP now, maybe might be expected to exist in perpetual nicety-nice polite fashion. Because its so damn limitted in human relationship scope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:59am
Felicia, you have such a skewed view of woh/sah. Its amazing to me how much you equate money with control and power. Why on earth would you assume that someones working status gets to dictate family vacation? Thats really sad.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:31pm
I don't agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:51pm
What do you mean by that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:59pm
I mean that I don't believe that one can sacrifice large amount of time to benefit in the "long run" when we have a children for so little time that the damage is already done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 1:27pm
By that theory, the sahp should be given more leverage on choosing where to vacation. And since when does woh mean not being a ft parent? What, the wohp gets to go lay by the pool while the sahp gets to care for the kids?? You arent making much sense here.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:14pm
Haven't you ever done something *extra* special for your dh (and your dh for you) because he (or you) did something for the other person just because that's what the other person wanted even though it wasn't necessarily what you (or he ) wanted?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:23pm
I have no idea how spousal support works IRL so I'm asking this question.

In those cases where the SAHW supported the family resulting in the WOHH furthering his career then after the divorce, how long does the SAHW get spousal support? How do they determine how much?

For example, if the xh makes $100K/yr then does the xw get $50K/year to "continue her previous SOL?" What if she gets job that pays $50K/year? Does she still get spousal support? And how long does spousal support continue?

In dual WOH couples, does the one with a higher income in general pay spousal support (let's say no-fault type of divorce) to the one who makes less?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:24pm
Maybe it's the people that I choose to hang out with, but I've also never faced criticism for woh.

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