Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:28pm
What are these *specific* "damages" that children of parents who WOH 60 hours/week will suffer from?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 3:04pm

Why would you assume there was damage done to the child?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 3:19pm
I have absolutely no idea. In my sister's case, her atty. wanted her to sue for spousal support b/c she had given up her job to be w/him at a medical school out of the country. However, being a student and having no appreciable assets of his own (he was living off a trust fund in Mom and Dad's name), she would have had to go after her ILs and she refused b/c she didn't want THEIR money.

As DH's $$$$ is MY $$$$ as well, I wouldn't have any problem going after him for it. I have no idea how to go about doing it, but I imagine like anything else, it's only going to turn out as well as your atty. ;)

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 3:24pm
But if your sis gave up her career to support her husband's schooling, wouldn't she be able to get his *future* earnings as an MD?
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 3:29pm
The criticism I have faced in the past has not been from people I CHOOSE to hang around with, but rather from a few neighbors who truly believe that parents who work have brought about all the evils of the world. I wish I could get them to move, but I can't.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 6:41pm
Obviously you've never lived through the pain of being permanently far away from a loving extended family. if i were in savcal's shoes, i would have done the same thing. if my dh was cheating on me, you can bet i would be outta here. there is no way on God's green earth i would stay here. hate it already. dont have to hate it without emotional support to boot.

your whole post was obnoxious, and cruel and you have no clue what you're talking about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 7:17pm
Apparently not...they divorced in '01 (married in '00) and he's starting his residency now. I don't know all the specifics, but given that they were only married for 11 months, I don't think her earning potential took a big enough hit to make all the lawyers fees for going after his future earnings/parents current $$$ worth it. That was my sister's opinion. She got the condo, big screen, hot tub, etc.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:16am
"Obviously you've never lived through the pain of being permanently far away from a loving extended family"

Bwaaahahhhhaaaaa. My whole family live on another continent, but sure, I've never been away from them. I love how on this board when people disagree, it becomes "you have no idea what you are talking about." Having been a deposit on a new apartment away from a divorce just a couple months ago, in a state where I have nothing but dh's family, and where most of my friends even are his family, I understand very well indeed the gut ddesire to want to get away and go near anyone who is close to me. But I made a commitment to my kids not to do that to them. It is about them, not me.

So tell me, since you feel the pain of being away from your family, is that something you'd illingly inflict on your kids, taking them away from their father? As adults we make our own decisions, including decisions to move away from family. But the kids that get seperated from their fathers had no choice and don't deserve it.

If you hate where you are so much, have you ever thought of doing something about it? You've been there for what, 20 years now, and you still *hate* it. Sorry, but I firmly beleive we can control things like our own misery, either by getting out of awfuol situations or finding ways to make them better.

"your whole post was obnoxious, and cruel and you have no clue what you're talking about."

I could say the same about yours.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:31am
<> Wow, that was a loaded statement! Damage? Can you please tell me how my kids are "damaged" by my WOH when they were little? How do you measure it?
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:49am
Jumping in here to say when I was going through a very hard time in my life w/ my former H, I had to move back to where my support base (family and friends) were.

Some guys take women away from their base to have a sense of control over them - isolation breeds dependancy. Sometimes, in order to get yourself back (and be the best you can be for your sake and for the kids) you need to be in a place where you feel supported.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03

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