Do people need a reason to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Do people need a reason to SAH?
1244
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 9:28am

This theme was touched upon in another thread and I wanted to discuss it further.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 9:35am

I think it is a family choice and there is no reason to have to justify the choice to
others.

I only see it as an issue if someone is using some type of fraud to get money which they are not legally entitled to support themselves.

I do agree that men who are not in the work force are judged more harshly.




Edited 7/18/2010 9:39 am ET by emptynester2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 9:54am

IMO,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 9:59am
I have an aunt who has not "worked" since she got married 60+ years ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:08am
But these people aren't parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:10am
Edit that to read: 1) the person wants to ... :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:16am

I'm one of those women who just adores being home and does most all the time. Justify? Give a reason? I feel no need to do that. I don't desire to explain myself to the world any more than one justifies why they are a teacher. Or why those chose to be a nurse.

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:16am

OK, but what about younger people from more current generations?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:23am

I covered that in my OP:

"I think it is a family choice and there is no reason to have to justify the choice to others."


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 11:03am

My grandma was a FT, "professional" SAHM all her adult life pretty much (she started at 19, ooops!). She was perfect, her house was perfect, her furniture was perfect, her kids were as perfect as she could possibly force them to be, ditto for the dh.

Personally I can't in any way shape or form understand how someone can find such a life fulfilling, and I did, sadly, see my grandmother, late in life, become very bitter about her wasted potential. But, all that said, if someone truly finds that life to be the bee's knees, all the more power to him or her.

You asked about men, and actually one of my grandmother's closest friends was a SAHD. He was independently wealthy and never worked a day in his life. He stayed home with the 4 kids while his wife pursued a distinguished career as a medical specialist. However, I think even now, a SAHD is more likely to start SAH after very conscious consideration, whereas mothers probably still are more likely to become SAH by some kind of default.

*^*^*^*^*


If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Erica Jong

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 11:09am

They have their reasons that make sense to them. They don't have to make sense to anyone else. And of your 3 examples, they all have valid (to other people, not just to themselves) reasons--help with aging relatives, working on the farm, and a disability. Your sil is, in fact, working in a traditional sense of being a farm wife living on a working farm. Living a self-sustaining lifestyle takes a lot of hard work with long hours.

Chris

edited to add a definition to valid




Edited 7/18/2010 11:11 am ET by sewchris703

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

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