Do people need a reason to SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Do people need a reason to SAH?
1244
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 9:28am

This theme was touched upon in another thread and I wanted to discuss it further.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 11:35am

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I would be bored out of my mind, but I can understand how a very traditional husband/wife combo could feel extremely personally fulfilled by an arrangement where each of them puts all their concentration and effort into either providing or care-taking (in this case, referring to taking care of the home and the spouse, not children). Just because society in general doesn't place value on a certain lifestyle doesn't mean individuals within that society can't place a high personal value on it.

Some people need to have an influence outside the home in order to feel accomplished, but there are some who feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment in having their spouse come home to a spotless house with a delicious homemade dinner on the table, starched and pressed clothes in the closet, crisp linens on the bed, and nothing left to do that evening but enjoy being together in whatever leisure activity they choose. I can see the attraction - lower stress for both spouses (if this arrangement meshes well with their personalities).












iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 1:05pm

-Some people need to have an influence outside the home in order to feel accomplished, but there are some who feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment in having their spouse come home to a spotless house with a delicious homemade dinner on the table, starched and pressed clothes in the closet, crisp linens on the bed, and nothing left to do that evening but enjoy being together in whatever leisure activity they choose. I can see the attraction - lower stress for both spouses (if this arrangement meshes well with their personalities).-


This is wonderful. ITA!


The blue bold is me. Rewarded. Fulfilled. Embraced.


A plus factor for us is just that (the bolded in red).


For myself, I can't ever remember being bored being at home.


In talking (that I love to do) to elderly grandmothers, great-grandmother, aunts, my mother in law

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 2:37pm

no, i don't think women need a reason to SAH.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 2:52pm

-aboout what american society dictates, i don't agree that it revolves around work and productivity more than it is about us being a country where opportunities are endless, you can do whatever you want to do, be whatever you want to be.

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 7:37pm

I have a huge problem with the whole idea that people's

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 10:14pm

I don't think people need a reason. If they want to and can swing it, it's fine. It was very common a generation or two ago, at least for white middle/upper class women. Things have changed but it was supposed to be an expansion of options not an exchange of options. The option to SAH is always there if one can make it work. It's obviously less common for men but they deserve the same options women have, so if they want to and can swing it, it's fine too.

I know one woman who is child free and did it, she's past retirement age now so it probably was generational. She seems to have kept herself busy and fulfilled. My MIL was a SAHW long after her children moved out, it works for them. She has crafts and friends and things she does to stay busy. My mom is on disability after a long career, starting about the time she became a grandmother but not yet to retirement age. She takes care of my aging grandmother and is learning to be an artist, it took some time for her to adjust but she does very well and does not seem bored or unfulfilled at all.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 7:43am
i don't know a childless SAH/WOH couple but i do

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 7:54am

i love the older generation, my dad is almost 83 and is full of wisdom, he always has the right things to say.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 8:27am

i have one friend who

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 10:06am

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