Do you care if your children work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Do you care if your children work?
442
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 12:15pm

The reason I throw it out there is because a women told me a story and went something like this.


Her father's best friend saw her at a family party and asked what she was doing and she said she was a mother with 3 beautiful children. He was very happy for her and asked where she worked and she said she stayed at home. So he asked where she worked before she had children and she said my son is in high school, I married right out of graduate school and never worked out of the home.


He said, "Wow - what a waste." Of course she was offended.


It ends up she has a masters in Engineering - went to some very good colleges and graduate school. The total cost being in the $75K range, about 15 years ago.


Now I don't think that somebody should forgo an education if they plan to stay at home but would you agree to pay for graduate school, law school, med school, etc. if you children did not plan to work?


My husband and I do not plan to fully pay for our kids college or graduate school but if I did I think I would be a little disappointed if they never worked.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 2:17pm

We plan to provide all education for the kids. What they decide to do once they graduate is up to them. I'd be just as happy if they sah and is they woh.


I look at myself, I didn't enjoy the woh experience. So I understand that.


Polkadots&FlipFlops

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 2:27pm

Well, seeing how the average for my family is to have the first child at 34, that would be an extremely long time in graduate school (although not unheard of) and would indicate other issues.

I don't see either of my boys planning on sah right after graduate school either. But, if they did, I would know it was because it was the best decision they could make among the available decisions at their disposal.

We plan on paying for undergraduate school for both boys. If they go in state- then we might help with graduate school- depending- no promises. DH and I both graduated without loans because through our parents planning and (for DH) some scholarships college was covered. It made a tremendous difference in both of our lives and makes me want to pay it forward to my children. Currently, we have enough for both to go in state for 5 years without saving another dime. If we go on our current savings rate- we will have enough for one to go to a private university and one to go in state with some left over. So, if both end up at more expensive private universities, I will go back to work for $- we will not take out loans.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:04pm

If we took a loan, which we probably will,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:18pm

I think if I continued to work or got a job to help pay for college and then my kids did not work I would be a little perturbed. Not sure to what degree but I just would not be that happy about it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:25pm

For me, I see college as an extension of HS education and not just a conduit to a job. For me and my family (for four + generations) it has been part of our growing up process. My grandmother went to college in the early 1920's and she never worked outside the home but for an ill fated three weeks at a candy shop (think Lucy and Ethel).

OTOH, my maternal grandmother worked outside the family home her entire adult life. She ran a coffee shop.

Education for education's sake rings true for me. It has also been shown that children of educated mothers do better-so in that respect the additional college to sah with children isn't wasted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:31pm

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2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:47pm

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This is interesting to me.

2010 Siggy
Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:49pm

<By the time my boys graduate from HS I sure as heck hope that I have raised them well enough that they are adult enough to figure out their own finances to support their education, whatever it may be.>


It's not a matter of them having the ability to figure out their own finances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:56pm

-

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:56pm

My husband is first generation college - I am second generation college.


My husband and I both believe that college is an extention of high school, we expect them to go to college. We also believe they should go to post graduate school of some type.


I do not mind helping pay for it to some extent but I would be very disappointed if they never worked after all of that.


How would they know if they like to work or what type of work they like if they never try. I don't want them to just work for money - I want them to be happy and fullfilled and to give back. I want them to be self sufficient and independent.


I can't think of any grandparents that did not work. Both my parents worked. Both my husband's parents worked.


So I expect my kids to work.

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