Do you care if your children work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Do you care if your children work?
442
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 12:15pm

The reason I throw it out there is because a women told me a story and went something like this.


Her father's best friend saw her at a family party and asked what she was doing and she said she was a mother with 3 beautiful children. He was very happy for her and asked where she worked and she said she stayed at home. So he asked where she worked before she had children and she said my son is in high school, I married right out of graduate school and never worked out of the home.


He said, "Wow - what a waste." Of course she was offended.


It ends up she has a masters in Engineering - went to some very good colleges and graduate school. The total cost being in the $75K range, about 15 years ago.


Now I don't think that somebody should forgo an education if they plan to stay at home but would you agree to pay for graduate school, law school, med school, etc. if you children did not plan to work?


My husband and I do not plan to fully pay for our kids college or graduate school but if I did I think I would be a little disappointed if they never worked.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 3:59pm

One of the things I like about my state is that it has relatively inexpensive state colleges and universities. Plus, there is a program through the community colleges that can drastically reduce the cost for many majors. The major colleges are required to accept those CC students who have met all aspects of the program (two years, minimum GPA and certain classes). It is a great way to limit costs and loans AND it is a great second chance for kids who had growing pains in HS.

DH and I participated in the state's prepaid tuition program for both boys and that has turned out to be our best investment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:04pm

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2010 Siggy
Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:06pm


What happens if your child decides not to go to an in-state school?

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:12pm

I don't think education is ever a waste. We plan to pay for their undergraduate education, and I don't care what they do (or don't do) with it. As for grad school, they'll probably be on their own, so it's up to them. I might be a little miffed if I sacrificed to send them to Harvard law school and they never worked, but I don't plan on doing that, so it's a moot point.

In this day and age, I can't imagine anyone "planning" never to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:15pm
We get it back with a low interest or we can transfer it to a cousin. The way DH and I look at it, it is our floor. It is insurance to guarantee our boys four years of college. Financial "gurus" say that we should keep x% of our investments in bonds, we think of this as a bond type of income. That way we are more aggressive when investing other money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:17pm

I don't know, I think there are still those who plan to sah (for whatever reason, doesn't have to be a parenting decision).

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:18pm
<That is the point though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:27pm

In my anecdotal part of the world, I know of no one who planned on sah. The ones that ended up sah (like me) did so because of circumstances that made dual woh problematic and woh/sah less so.

*For me*, my sah initially was for greater flexibility and a more relaxed lifestyle. It has evolved as my children have evolved. Now it is because both boys have issues that need more intense parenting than dual woh ( at least our two jobs) can give easily. My sah is now mainly for the 6:00am-8:30am and 2:30pm to 6:00pm windows and for the ability to go to the school during a crisis and deal with it and not be distracted. It also has other implications that are more unique to my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:32pm

Deciding to sah whenever & for whatever reasons I think are so individual and unique directly to the person and their own families. And so are experiences and those of the people around us.


Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 4:39pm
It really depends. For us, our boys will not be eligible for grants or education loans because of our household income. We are lucky to have a decent income, and are able to provide for college with prudent budgeting and careful panning. However, it would be quite a bit easier if we lived in a lower cost area too.

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