Do you "have it all"?

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Do you "have it all"?
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Sun, 07-06-2003 - 5:38am
This topic has come up before and I remember Jorvia posting what her "all" was -- living in Manhattan and taking her children to the world's greatest museums. So that got me to thinking. What is your definition of "having it all"?

My "all" includes a good many things. I have my family whom I love more every day. I have my house in New England -- just a train ride from Boston. I have a husband who loves me and who will do anything for me. I have my business, which is growing, even in this economy, and my network of people, which gets larger all the time. We go away to Cape Cod, Vermont, etc fairly regularly. I am training for another marathon. My husband now has a job that allows him to work from home (I still can't believe it) and for the first time in six years, he's happy with his prospects. Our son is healthy and full of life. I have my dog and we're starting agility class this week.

It's a pretty good life -- one I'm quite thankful for.

outside_the_box_mom

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 8:07am
All? No, not all. I could have a life companion; that would be ideal. I could live closer to my parents and siblings and extended family; again, that would be ideal.

But I have one hell of a lot....and I have "most". I have a good life, good friends, good job. I have my health. I have a good place to live that I could live in happily until I die. I have a good car that gets me where I need to go and I have food enough to live and entertain my family/friends.

I have interesting and rewarding work, both of the paid and unpaid variety.

And if my ex and I are no longer together, we are good friends and I think we did a good job raising our son together. Certainly a much better relationship and situation than many ex's have.

I wouldn't say I have it "all", but I have most of it and really, that's more than most people. I'm richly blessed and even better, I know it and am deeply grateful.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 8:50am
Hey otbm! When did this happen? I didn't know your dh was working from home! That's great! Is it a hard adjustment?

Anyway, yes I do believe I have it all. I have a great dh who would do anything for me after almost 25 years together. I have 2 great kids, a beautiful home, wonderful friends, Jeff and I both have good jobs and enough money to pay our bills. What more could a person ask for?

Sue

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Sun, 07-06-2003 - 9:21am
He got a sales job. His territory is New England. So he'll be home for the most part with some travel for trade shows and sales meetings. But nothing like the schedule he used to have. He was very adament that he no longer wanted to be in "management." Said he was tired of missing his son grow up.

He's been home since March, so we've adjusted to each other. It is so nice to see him so happy. And DS is happier because his dad is home now. They spend alot of time together. I think the best thing in the world is coming in from a run and seeing them playing catch together on the lawn -- at 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon.

outside_the_box_mom

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 9:45am
Right now I don't have squat.

I used to think I had it all. A nice home, two great kids, a job I enjoyed, .... but as we all know, my life has gone to hell in a handbasket (where the heck did that phrase originate? lol)

And, looking back, I realize that I didn't have it "all". And one of the things I didn't have was family. I used to think having dh (er, stbxh) was enough. And it just isn't. Hence the move back to OK following the divorce.

Do I think I can again someday "have it all" ... I dunno. I think it CAN be done ... do I think I'll achieve that? I dunno. I'm not going to strive or push for it, because I've learned that sometimes you make yourself think you've achieved it when you haven't. I'd much rather sit back, enjoy my life and one day wake up and say "hey, I've got it all" adn let it be a pleasant surprise rather than some intangible goal I can't reach.

Okay, I'm really, really rambling now, but I think you get the point.

Hollie

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Sun, 07-06-2003 - 10:37am
I was you six years ago. About a month ago, I realized I had achieved a couple of personal goals and told DH, "Wow. If you had told me even two years ago I would be where I am today, I would have laughed."

You are absolutely right. You can't push it. Plus, you have to remain open to new things life gives you -- the good unexpected things, not just the bad ones.

My thoughts are with you.

outside_the_box_mom

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:15am
Ya know OTBM? When all this first happened (geesh, its only been less than two months .. I talk like its been years ...) and I was feeling really miserable for myself, I started looking at others who've "overcome". And one of the names I always came up with is yours. You are one of those people I look at and say "Wow. She's got it all together. And yet she too, was divorced and alone not too long ago. And she's been able to put together (or let happen? or a combo of the two?) a life that makes her happy."

So, you ARE an inspiration.

Hollie

(and for those newbies out there ... there have been MANY times that OTBM and I have gone round and round on issues ... so we can debate and support here on this board)

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Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:22am
Ah shucks. Now I'm embarrassed. But it does feel good to finally be at a nice place in life.

outside_the_box_mom

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Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:27am
(((((((((((SAVCAL)))))))))))

Just think, though, you are going to be closer to MEEEEE! :) I don't know what "having it all" is, if it isn't living close to me! ;)

Seriously, I know that things are really rough for you right now, and I would be happy to help you out in any way I can when you get out here, for good. And I can't WAIT for us to get the kids together! :)

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:28am
If I've got it all, I want a refund.

Seriously, there is no such thing. You prioritize. It's important to me to live where we live for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that this is the best place for me to work and I want my family 15 minutes away, not an hour and 15 minutes. I want to walk my kids to school and make and eat dinner with them. There are trade offs we have to make to get these things. We live in a shoebox and pay obscene amounts of money to educate the kids.

We all need and want more of something, or maybe a lot of things. I'd like more time. I'd like more relaxation. I'd like to laugh more. (A few months from now I will. Things are just a bit hard right now).

My "enough" necessarily is different from most people's. You do what you can do and wake up the next day to do it all over again.

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Registered: 05-13-2003
Sun, 07-06-2003 - 11:29am
Yep, I have it all, well, wait a minute, on second thought, I don't have a pair of Manolo Blahniks or a BMW, so I guess I don't have it "all".

I am of course, kidding.

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