Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?
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Thu, 05-02-2013 - 4:04pm

According to Today, some dads think so:

The eight weeks of paid paternity leave that Yahoo male employees now receive, thanks to the company’s generous new policy, makes plenty of dads envious of all that time for bonding with baby.

Yet for many dads, the lengthy time the company is offering seems too good to be true, and maybe even unrealistic. Because while it would be a dream to have a guilt-free two month leave from work, many say they feel pressure – whether self-inflicted or external -- to get back to work.

Read more: http://www.today.com/moms/yahoos-long-paternity-leave-unrealistic-some-dads-say-6C9724866

There is no way my husband would have taken off that amount of time with any of our boys, he can barely handle a four day weekend at home ;)  In the industry he was working in, and with his supervisory responsiblities, I don't think it would have been realistic for him to take off more than a week at a time.  

What do you think?  Do you think it's more acceptable for dads to take paternity leave, or does it depend on your field of employment?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Jambles, Couldn't your husband's company hire a temp or something so he could take some time off? Couldn't his co-workers fill in whole he's gone? Or is he the only one in his company that can do his job?</blockquote></p><p>He's not a clock puncher, His job requires more than time to waste defeinding one's positon online too. </p>

Neither are myself or sav but that doesn't really answer the question, just showing your claws again instead of answering the question.  Gotta love your double standards Jam, must be interesting to justify to yourself.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Really doesn't answer the question Jambles, nobody here gets paid for going online and discussing her job, and there's no evidence anyone here is a clock-puncher. I've no doubt your husband is good at what he does, but haven't we established that the graveyards are full of indispensable people? So why can't your husband take leave again? Is he really the most important person on the board?</blockquote></p><p>Lol, graveyards of indispensable people, Yes that call from the wild has been established here..  Now back to the title of this thread, long paternity leave, No, My husband's job demands wouldn't keep home for longer than a few days actually, It must be a /sic/ penis thing like your friend called it. </p>

Yep, just like I mentioned, it would be hard for me to take a long maternity leave. Glad you finaly understand.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<<

jamblessedthree wrote:
Lol, graveyards of indispensable people, Yes that call from the wild has been established here..  Now back to the title of this thread, long paternity leave, No, My husband's job demands wouldn't keep home for longer than a few days actually, It must be a /sic/ penis thing like your friend called it. </p>

I don't see how it can possibly be exclusive to penis people.  After all we have Savcal and PKA on record as being unable to take off that much time at their jobs.  Maybe they're just as important to their workplace as your dh is to his.

Can you give even one (rational, sensible and credible) reason why that might not be so?>>

My guess is no, but I'm sure we will get a lovely passive agressive double standard type one.  Oh wait, already did.  :)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

emptynester2009 wrote:
<p><span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium">If I got this right:</span></p><p><span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium">Man who tells wife that he cannot take time off work for family issues like paternity leave because of his work load is a good husband who is very good at his job and cannot be replaced. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size:medium">Woman who states that she would not plan a long term absence from work like a maternity leave  because it would be hard on her co-workers and company to be off for an extended length of time is a liar.   Everyone is replaceable.  <br /></span></p>

Yep, the world according to the trio of jams, spring and hardy.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010

thardy2001 wrote:
Not your replaceability, but your importance.  You said you returned after 3.5 days and all hell broke loose.  A lot of that has to do with you.  For instance: your boss doesn't know "half" of what you do.  So you've done the same: you work with people who don't know what you do.  That's all.  If you quit, the place would carry on, just as it did after your predecessor left the place in shambles.</p><p>The difference is with Jam's husband's job.  He has a job clearly very important to him/Jam in terms of pay/benefits, he's the sole breadwinner, others are probably chomping at the bit to get that kind of position.  He can't leave for even 8 weeks because that's a really good way for him to ensure he loses his job.   </p>

1. I didn't say all hell broke loose. I said it was hell.  and it was hell for me, because I had such a backlog to contend with.

2. Don't blame me for confusing/interchaning irreplaceability and importance. I didn't apply either term to myself.  You and spring and jamblemess did.

3. It isn't about *me*, per se. It is about the position.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

jamblessedthree wrote:
I find busyness unrelated to work incredible, even punishable. Some jobs are bigger than that however.

How?  And your bias debating is showing again, might want to fix that...or not.  :)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

thardy2001 wrote:
<p>I think 8 weeks paternity leave is unrealistic for most men working at-will.  That would mean two parents together at home for a few weeks or the full 8 weeks.  That alone goes against the American work ethic.  This policy establishes goodwill for Yahoo, and little more.  Families will still worry about any fallout at work, the frenzied return after a long absence, job security. </p>

Why can't they just get a temp to fill in?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

grapthars_hammer wrote:
  But it's good to know that if they ever decide having one person handling the stationery needs of the entire Legislative Branch of government is one person too many, I can go substitute teach.  Likely I'll have way more time for sewing then.</p>

Subs need at least a bachelors degree.  In our county, long-term subs need the bachelors and Masters, like the tenured teachers.  (Obviously, only the public schools.)

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010

thardy2001 wrote:
Why is it unhealthy, unproductive ?? and makes for an unbearable workplace?  </p>

Because 8-9 hours straight of complex, sometimes stressful, brain-tasking work with no breather creates enough stress that it becomes unbearable.  If you've never experience that, good for you.  But the fact that most companies allow (or even require) breaks throughout the day support my stance.  Shoot, many of the top companies in the world now allow nap breaks or even provide nap rooms. Or walking breaks and walking paths, etc, etc, etc ...

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Short answer is, no, she can't give a sensible answer to that question, because thee is no sensible answer other than to admit that PKA, SavCal, and her husband might have similar levels of job responsibility, and you know she's not going to do that!</blockquote></p><p>You may not feel it because you have a job where <span style="text-decoration:underline">paid</span> leave is not unusual ~ to publish, to do an archeologic dig, etc, etc.  But there are many jobs where employees get a little miffed if they see others taking off extended paid leave.  Paternity leave is paid exclusively (like most benefits) by co-workers.  Co-workers' salaries and bennies go down the more money is taken out of their paychecks to subsidize the benefits others get.  </p>

How do you figure that a co-workers salaries (versus company profits) pay benefits?  How do you figures that co workers salaries pay the benefits of others, you know versus again company profit?

PumpkinAngel

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