Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?
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Thu, 05-02-2013 - 4:04pm

According to Today, some dads think so:

The eight weeks of paid paternity leave that Yahoo male employees now receive, thanks to the company’s generous new policy, makes plenty of dads envious of all that time for bonding with baby.

Yet for many dads, the lengthy time the company is offering seems too good to be true, and maybe even unrealistic. Because while it would be a dream to have a guilt-free two month leave from work, many say they feel pressure – whether self-inflicted or external -- to get back to work.

Read more: http://www.today.com/moms/yahoos-long-paternity-leave-unrealistic-some-dads-say-6C9724866

There is no way my husband would have taken off that amount of time with any of our boys, he can barely handle a four day weekend at home ;)  In the industry he was working in, and with his supervisory responsiblities, I don't think it would have been realistic for him to take off more than a week at a time.  

What do you think?  Do you think it's more acceptable for dads to take paternity leave, or does it depend on your field of employment?

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Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010

thardy2001 wrote:
Yah, that's kind of the crux behind the whole pronouncement by Marissa Meyers.  And EVERYTIME you take off on paid leave, it is fully subsidized by co-workers in private industry.  Or in your case, the federal taxpayer.  </p>

Then your issue shouldn't be with parental leave ... just petition the fed and state government to get rid of all paid sick and annual leave for employees ...t hat would solve it. (BAER)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 06-27-1998

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Who is a liar?  And how does paternity leave compare to the irreplaceable jobs? </p>

Re-read the thread from two days ago, hint....it was the same subject but with females instead of males.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

What employee sees maternity or paternity leave as a lazy vacation?  Let alone one subsidized by the paychecks of non-vacationing employees? 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

savcal2011 wrote:
  1. I didn't say all hell broke loose. I said it was hell.  and it was hell for me, because I had such a backlog to contend with.</p><p>2. Don't blame me for confusing/interchaning irreplaceability and importance. I didn't apply either term to myself.  You and spring and jamblemess did.</p><p>3. It isn't about *me*, per se. It is about the position.</p>

It's less about the job as you said your predecessor left for quite some time without a replacement.  Let's cut thru the -----.  You're "not thrilled" with your pay, it's a job paid for by tax dollars, no one kills herself at such a job. 

Frankly, I had to lol at the notion that people in any field convince themselves working 8-9 hours without a break is unhealthy and unproductive.  But that's what we would expect at a job paid for by the taxpayers ~ take 8 months paternity leave, don't work a full day without break.  THAT I get!  But it's very different in the private sector.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>Yah, that's kind of the crux behind the whole pronouncement by Marissa Meyers.  And EVERYTIME you take off on paid leave, it is fully subsidized by co-workers in private industry.  Or in your case, the federal taxpayer.  &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Then your issue shouldn't be with parental leave ... just petition the fed and state government to get rid of all paid sick and annual leave for employees ...t hat would solve it. (BAER)</p>

That day may be sooner than you think.  ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>He's not a clock puncher, His job requires more than time to waste defeinding one's positon online too. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I'm not a clock puncher either. In fact, only in one job ever have I punched a clock. (part-time, in college). </p>

Are there even time clocks anymore?  I thought everything was pretty much automated by now.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>In keeping my original post in context... I was agreeing with Melissa in the responsibilities our husbands have, even to the point of how ready he is to return to work after a long weekend, Lol.. My additional point has to do with childcare and a SAHP that off sets his need to be at home. You can't afford to SAH..</p><p>You can be replaced, All jobs are. But that has nothing to do with what wrote here.</p><p> </p><p> </p>

Wow, you have a huge sexist double standard going.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001

But that's what we would expect at a job paid for by the taxpayers ~ take 8 months paternity leave, don't work a full day without break. THAT I get!

My taxpayer dollars are clearly spent the wrong way based on some comments. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>Why is it unhealthy, unproductive ?? and makes for an unbearable workplace?  &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Because 8-9 hours straight of complex, sometimes stressful, brain-tasking work with no breather creates enough stress that it becomes unbearable.  If you've never experience that, good for you.  But the fact that most companies allow (or even require) breaks throughout the day support my stance.  Shoot, many of the top companies in the world now allow nap breaks or even provide nap rooms. Or walking breaks and walking paths, etc, etc, etc ...</p>

That is simply untrue.  Scheduled breaks, as in plural ~ simply not true.  When was the last time you worked in the private sector?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;jamblessedthree&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;It would depend on the dad and the job demands, Like your husband my DH has supervisory responsibilities that require contact and communication on a regular basis, I can't imagine him being free of that for 6 weeks, Lol. We've lived away from home since the birth of our first 15 years ago already and that in part is why we afford ourselves a SAHP.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt; &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt; &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Oh, but if I say I can't imagine being free of that for 12 weeks, then I'm overstating my replaceability.  Double-standard much?&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Not your replaceability, but your importance.  You said you returned after 3.5 days and all hell broke loose.  A lot of that has to do with you.  For instance: your boss doesn't know "half" of what you do.  So you've done the same: you work with people who don't know what you do.  That's all.  If you quit, the place would carry on, just as it did after your predecessor left the place in shambles.</p><p>The difference is with Jam's husband's job.  He has a job clearly very important to him/Jam in terms of pay/benefits, he's the sole breadwinner, others are probably chomping at the bit to get that kind of position.  He can't leave for even 8 weeks because that's a really good way for him to ensure he loses his job.   </p>

Do you read what you write because I'm not sure how one could have such a huge double standard in their own comments.

PumpkinAngel

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