Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think that long paternity leave is unrealistic?
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Thu, 05-02-2013 - 4:04pm

According to Today, some dads think so:

The eight weeks of paid paternity leave that Yahoo male employees now receive, thanks to the company’s generous new policy, makes plenty of dads envious of all that time for bonding with baby.

Yet for many dads, the lengthy time the company is offering seems too good to be true, and maybe even unrealistic. Because while it would be a dream to have a guilt-free two month leave from work, many say they feel pressure – whether self-inflicted or external -- to get back to work.

Read more: http://www.today.com/moms/yahoos-long-paternity-leave-unrealistic-some-dads-say-6C9724866

There is no way my husband would have taken off that amount of time with any of our boys, he can barely handle a four day weekend at home ;)  In the industry he was working in, and with his supervisory responsiblities, I don't think it would have been realistic for him to take off more than a week at a time.  

What do you think?  Do you think it's more acceptable for dads to take paternity leave, or does it depend on your field of employment?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

grapthars_hammer wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>My taxpayer dollars are clearly spent the wrong way based on some comments. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I doubt that the $1.50 from your teaching career goes very far at my agency.</p>

Have you ever filed jointly, GH? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

<<And I call bullshit on the private sector being different.  Private sector companies I worked for had breaks - lunch breaks, coffee breaks, donuts and bagels every friday mroning, 1/2 days on friday, softball practice on company time ....>>

Yes, hardy's comments are not true.  I do find it interesting that those who "claim" to be sahms are making statements about what it's like to work, when you know they "claim" not to work.  


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

springfever2013 wrote:
   I find it hilarious to hear comments saying that some can't take 12 weeks because their depts. will just fall apart and they have a lot of responsibility with knowing things that others just don't so no one else can do their job <span style="font-size:large">BUUUUUUT</span>.......they have PLENTY of time to come online and argue about stupid crap ALL.DAY.LONG almost EVERY workday <img src="/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-undecided.gif" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" border="0" /></strong></p>

It is insane.  But, but, but they have work ethics which won't allow them to take even 4 FULL days off.  Only 3.5 days! Wink  Absolutely...insane. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>It's less about the job as you said your predecessor left for quite some time without a replacement.  Let's cut thru the -----.  You're "not thrilled" with your pay, it's a job paid for by tax dollars, no one kills herself at such a job. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Frankly, I had to lol at the notion that people in any field convince themselves working 8-9 hours without a break is unhealthy and unproductive.  But that's what we would expect at a job paid for by the taxpayers ~ take 8 months paternity leave, don't work a full day without break.  THAT I get!  But it's very different in the private sector.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>&lt;&lt;It's less about the job as you said your predecessor left for quite some time without a replacement. &gt;&gt; Ummm, yeah.   And many things were left undone.  And the other staff were extremely overworked in her absence.  Same as it would be if i was gone for a long period of time.  Also, since then the workload has increased (due in great part to those federal regulations I mentioend before)  without a corresponding increase in staff.</p><p>&lt;&lt;You're "not thrilled" with your pay, it's a job paid for by tax dollars, no one kills herself at such a job.&gt;&gt; I'm not thrilled, but I"m okay with it.  And I"m not killing myself at my job. </p><p>And I call bullshit on the private sector being different.  Private sector companies I worked for had breaks - lunch breaks, coffee breaks, donuts and bagels every friday mroning, 1/2 days on friday, softball practice on company time ....</p>

Again, how long has it been since you worked in the private sector?  You paid for a lot of that in decreased salary.  The recession kinda took away some of those little perks.  Um, people lost jobs, their homes.  And it continues.  Only in public sector jobs can one freely and openly spend as much time on the internet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013

thardy2001 wrote:
Have you ever filed jointly, GH?  </p>

Sorry, my bad. $2.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013

It is insane.  But, but, but they have work ethics which won't allow them to take even 4 FULL days off.  Only 3.5 days! Wink  Absolutely...insane. 

I guess you WOULD be in the opposite of heaven (this is ridiculous) after that much time off if you spend your day online on messageboards and then take time off. There is only so much that you can put off before it becomes overwhelming and stressful. I have worked with people like this. They would walk around and on the phone talking all day but seemed to have to stay a half hour-an hour after work to finish things up. If you are not micro-managed (which is great as I am not) it is very easy for the boss and others to truly not know what you do all day and then they think when you are staying later or working crazy a few days that you have so much work and responsibilities. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">It is insane.  But, but, but they have work ethics which won't allow them to take even 4 FULL days off.  Only 3.5 days! </span><img src="http://www.ivillage.com/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" border="0" style="font-size:13px; text-align:left" /><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">  Absolutely...insane. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I guess you WOULD be in the opposite of heaven (this is ridiculous) after that much time off if you spend your day online on messageboards and then take time off. There is only so much that you can put off before it becomes overwhelming and stressful. I have worked with people like this. They would walk around and on the phone talking all day but seemed to have to stay a half hour-an hour after work to finish things up. If you are not micro-managed (which is great as I am not) it is very easy for the boss and others to truly not know what you do all day and then they think when you are staying later or working crazy a few days that you have so much work and responsibilities. </span></strong></p>

Oh poor spring, I'm so sorry.  Hugs.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
I think people are still stuck on the idea of a 9-5 M-F workday. I was up at 5 this morning handling e-mail and making a schedule for an upcoming conference. Then I baked for three hours. Then I finalized the conference schedule after everyone had a chance to get back to me. I'm going into the office in about 45 minutes and will spend the time from about 12-6 or so reading and writing. Monday and Tuesday next week I will work half days at most because Wednesday-Sunday I will be taking a group of seven students to an out-of-state conference, including driving three of them in my personal car - so I am "on duty" for sixteen hours Wednesday and Sunday and 24 hrs Thurs, Fri, and Saturday. That's why I can often post during what 9 to 5ers consider the work day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
My kids work at minimum wage jobs in the private sector. Even in this benighted state, the employers are required to give them a meal break and a rest break if they work an right hour shift.
Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010

bordwithyou wrote:
My kids work at minimum wage jobs in the private sector. Even in this benighted state, the employers are required to give them a meal break and a rest break if they work an right hour shift.

At The Girl's job, if she doesn't clock out "on time" for her break, the computer yells at her. Even her schedule shows the breaks.   i.e. "Saturday: 8:30-10:30 - cashier; 10:45-12:45 - cashier; 1:15-3:15 - dressing room"

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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