Do you think a SAHM should go back to...

Avatar for val10154
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Do you think a SAHM should go back to...
1368
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:46am

Do you think a SAHM should go back to work once the kids start school?



  • Absolutely, why shouldn't she? There's no reason why she shouldn't.
  • It's up to her & her family.
  • No, not really. What do the kids being in school have to do w/ her working?


You will not be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:18pm
DS's bus stops right in front of our house every morning and afternoon but I still take him to school because it takes me less than 10 minutes to drop him off compared to 30 minutes on the bus since it makes other stops between our home and the school. Same for picking him up. I go about 15-20 minutes early to get a spot closer to the door and sit in the car drinking my afternoon tea and read a magazine or book, write a letter, or just sit and think. Of course, there are times when he needs to ride the bus and we're both cool with that.

Cindy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:19pm
We won't be paying hundreds for a decade. With 2 kids (maybe having a 3rd) no way. All of the 3-6p activities are not in affluent neighborhoods. Unless you call homes that are well UNDER million dollar homes affluent.

Our "ymca" isn't any more new than the parks & rec dept activities or the school that has been around for years.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:21pm
Oh yes. Dr. Phil & the dusting go together like peanut butter & jelly.

S.V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:21pm
We are basically on the same schedule we go from 4-7 for activities. Bed time is 8:00. My dh had to work long hard hours in the begining of our marriage for our family life as it is now. It was so worth it.


Edited 9/10/2003 2:23:35 PM ET by silverunity
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:22pm
I hear ya. S.V.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:26pm
Family time starts here around 4:30 when Dh walks in the door. But we like to be home (like if we have to go out some where or we run out to eat) by 6:00 for the evening. It is just us. We love to play with the kids, relax, and then after they go to bed as I was saying Dh & I have about a couple of hours just to talk and spend time together.

We are grateful there are 3-6p programs that fit our lives.

We have some friends w/2 kids, one school age, the other a toddler and they love the activities from 3-6p because they eat dinner, take baths, and every body in bed by 9 and you've got to have family time (and they are like us, that isn't sitting at soccer practice that qualifies as "family" time) and of course there is homework for the school child that has to be done.

S.V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:28pm
Because. Its obvious. There are so few spots because there are so few people who can afford to participate. The affluent people who can afford to make the 3pm schedual, while affording multiple activities for 2 or 3 kids, all hob knob, and like talk about soccer reg which happens in January during their kids hockey games in December. They also provide the coaches, who are the wohds/wohms who own their own very successful businesses, or law practices or medical practices and have way lots of control over their scheduals. Or they are the sahms who have nannies to watch their other children while they coach. They inform all their other affluent friends of whats going on, whose coaching, whose kids might want to play together etc. They also hob knob on the golf courses, at the clubs, things like that. By the time people who are way more limitted in where you can afford to spend their free socializing time, and how many things they can afford to put their kids in find out about things - its too late. There just aren't enough others to make more teams worthwhile, and besides...whose going to provide the coaches. The affluents have provided what they need for their own...are they now supposed to start providing coaches for everyone else because a)the less affluent sahms have other kids to look after at 3pm and can't afford a nanny or b)the regular wohps aren't avail at 3pm? What you say makes PERFECT sense.

Oh and school activities? Yes I know. Teachers want to go home. Thats why they're early. Our school activities don't even start till Gr 4 anyway. By Gr 5, my kids can walk themselves home and stay there for 30 mins alone. This year, all thats offered is cross country running. Works out perfectly, its in the am when my child is in the before school program anyway. Its not going to be a problem. I wasn't talking school activities -those aren't the "prime" things I'm going to quit work to facilitate. The private leagues provide the real stuff. Parks and rec? Thats always low end too. Its cheap, its designed to provide low cost activities at tax payers expense, to people who can't afford anything else. Ditto for the Y. I have nothing against that - I'm just not limitted to it myself so I don't care what their schedual is. School and parks and rec and the Y are not even soccer league, or baseball league, or hockey league. Its not gym club, or dance studio. These programs aren't the stuff one quits work in order that a child may take advantage. They are where you go if you can't afford anything else. Lived in an area where even dual working families couldn't afford anything else, back when we were one. Guess what...the scheduals of even parks and rec were...can you believe it...accessible to dual income families. This IS how things work. But as I said, this isn't the stuff one quits work to access. Its the other stuff for which one works so that their kids may have access - the leagues, the studios, the clubs. With income, comes choice. As usual. And you get what you pay for, as usual.

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:31pm
Well, in my neighborhood some activities are only in the afternoon and others are offered in the evening and weekends. I know that our park had storytime every Wednesday at 6:30 pm.

So, It may be the norm in your community for all events/activities to take place between 3-6 but not necessarily all communities . However, since your are a SAHM you may have never investigated if there are indeed activities in the evenings in your community. When I had my baby, a SAHM friend said I wouldnt be able to do activities with my baby since I worked and everything offered is during the day. It turned out not to be true. We did gymboree and he is now in a baby and me swim class on Saturdays.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:38pm
I conclude that getting a kid to a 5:30 practice is typically very doable in your area, for a wohp, because if its not, WHO is coaching? The sahms who are needing to chase their own other offspring, or the sahms who are wealthy enough to afford nannies? If you want to find activities for your kids in that 3-5 bracket, I'm sure you can. People do it here. Its what people settle for if they can't afford the other stuff. If you had more income, you'd find you had more choice and wouldn't be limitted to the low cost parks and rec or y programs available in that time bracket, designed to cater to single income families who can't afford much more anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 2:41pm
So everyone should work through their lunch hour because their work is not finished?

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