Do you think a SAHM should go back to...

Avatar for val10154
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Do you think a SAHM should go back to...
1368
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:46am

Do you think a SAHM should go back to work once the kids start school?



  • Absolutely, why shouldn't she? There's no reason why she shouldn't.
  • It's up to her & her family.
  • No, not really. What do the kids being in school have to do w/ her working?


You will not be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:32am
I have to agree with you there. I have been involved with soccer since my now 12 yo son was 5. This is through 4 kids. The practices never started before 5:30 at the earliest because they were usually coached by dads who had to do it after work. The games were held on the weekends. This is rec soccer. If sports were attached to a school, such as most high school sports are, then I could see the 3PM practice because it would be held right after school. All of the rec sports are held in the evenings, whether people want to enjoy their leisurely 6PM dinner or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:36am
Okay but i cant agree, Iam not obligated to do something for my husband b/c I have ovaries or does that make me obligated to SAH it is a choice for us and it is what makes us and me happy. It has NOTHING to do with my OVARIES. If i have OVARIES IAM obligated to have children? Cant agree with your logic...however i will not say that make's you wrong, i simply dont agree with it. I bet you say i have made no sense and you have no clue what iam saying cuz that is not what you said. I do hope i lose the bet.

Now if my dh want's to sah, it will be planned and it will not have made me obligated b/c i have ovaries it would be b/c I love my husband.

I suppose i take being straight to the point with you here and now in this debate. Your comment about a women ovaries is inapropriate call me a whiner but ill say to you once. The power of women has no place to be put down and belittled, I certainley did not take it personal as you may blame me but found it as a comment that is repulsive. "It does not mean Iam being combative or bitchy with you" Iam telling you that you seem to have a very low opinion of women in general expecially sah I have to wonder why.





Edited 9/11/2003 2:40:39 PM ET by silverunity

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:43am
I didn't say Sah is special. Neither is Woh.

Special & Respect for a woman's choice ARE 2 different things. Do you want to be respected for your having the choice as a woman to be a WOH? Not respected that you work. Just respected of your choice. Same with Sahs.

I also didn't say anything about the pedestal you love to talk about. I hate the thought of any one being put on a pedestal for their choice in life. So I agree with you there. You aren't on a pedestal for being a WOH any more than I or others would be for Sah.

Well, I'm not one of those Sah's putting my family in financial jeopardy, thank goodness.

We'll have to disagree about how we feel about sah for our kids. Obviously I disagree with your so called stance on the subject.

Since nothing would change for my kids (the house they live in, the school they will attend, what they have, what they do, vacations, college education paid for, the fact they are home all day because we'd hire a sitter to come here if I did work to be here in the house w/our kids) I don't think SES is much of a factor. I do see it as a huge factor for some families.

I never once said that Sah is special. It isn't. Neither is Woh. I do it first for my kids, second for the family (dh, kids) as a whole. But I love it and gain huge personal benefit & satisfaction from it that has nothing to do with my kids, my husband or the running of the household.

Yes, life is cool when you get to live it day to day exactly how you want and that is where you and I are right now.




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:44am
Sure IF the mother can provide for the family like the father, no big deal. But I can't make any where close to the money my dh pulls in so it is a moot point. Thankfully he has no wish to stay home as he loves his business.

S.V.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:44am
I don't think that it is a question of one being right and the other being wrong. It is a question of logistics. Most rec soccer (and other sports) teams are coached by volunteer dads, sometimes moms. Almost all of the dads and a good proportion of these moms work and don't get off of work until later in the day. By scheduling activities that most people can't get to, it would greatly reduce the people who could participate. Towns and cities don't schedule later activities to be mean or to cut into family time, it is a matter of common sense. When can the greatest number of people be available. Otherwise, you are severly limiting those who can participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:47am
Oh I agree. Differences abound everywhere! I also agree it doesn't make them (the 3-6p activities) wrong and it doesn't mean (as Opinion put it) that they are for the lower income people or higher income people. They are for all. They are also great opportunities and outlets. They just happen to be earlier than later. I agree. Where we live varies widely from person to person. It just amazes me that Opinion THINKS she knows everything there is to know about everyone's town, school, neighborhood, programs, and the list just keeps rolling on that she thinks she knows more about.

S.V.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:56am
Yes, you said "I live in a town with overwhelmingly sahm's, but it's the dads who usually coach, so they aren't starting 'at 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon." That is very true. The times of the practices have to be scheduled when there are coaches available. If these coaches are the dads, then the practices have to be after work time. That is usually after 5PM.

The way the argument is going around here, you would think that people purposely schedule activities to cut into family time. That is not true. It is a question of who can be available and when.

Now, high school sports often practice right after school so the kids just stay. Other activites, such as swimming, gymnastics, ballet, piano, are often scheduled in the afternoon when the kids get off of school and someone is available to take them. But, places that offer them usually also have evening hours for people who can't get there in the afternoon. Not everyone is extremely flexible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:02pm
You must not read well. I didn't say you didnt' read what I said. I said you didn't read what I was RESPONDING TO. So you took my words to mean something they didn't, because you didn't read the poster I was responding to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:11pm
I said "I read it" i read what you are responding to. nt
Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:13pm
Our town has bussing for all of its children, no matter how close or how far you live. Part of the reason is the ease of getting the children inside in the morning. The parents who insist on driving their children when there is a bus available cause a horrible traffic jam in the school parking lot so that the busses have a hard time getting through. That is part of what causes bus delays. I think it is good for the kids to take the bus. It gives the kids time to talk to their friends in the morning. I kind of get annoyed at the attitude of parents who believe that it is their children's right to be chauffered everywhere, even when it causes a traffic back up. JMO.

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