Do you think a SAHM should go back to...

Avatar for val10154
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Do you think a SAHM should go back to...
1368
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:46am

Do you think a SAHM should go back to work once the kids start school?



  • Absolutely, why shouldn't she? There's no reason why she shouldn't.
  • It's up to her & her family.
  • No, not really. What do the kids being in school have to do w/ her working?


You will not be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 8:57pm
Why do you think things are so spread out? Because of the automobile. Because people could drive to get to their place of work, they didn't need to live close. That was happening while the infrastructure of this country was being built. Hence the love affair with our cars. Much of Europe already had an infrastructure in place.

The fact is, we are so spoiled in this country with the availability of cars and the vast amount of space, that we have built a society that makes a lot of public transpotation impossible to manage. It is such a shame. The sprawl is such a terrible waste of land and puts a big strain on our resources, not to mention the horrendous traffic jams and pollution. Which further requires building new roads, and so on and so on.

Yes, it was the car companies that promoted a lot of this. What is worse is when young people like you don't even consider public transportation a viable option, ever.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:00pm
But why do you think they were able to build so far out? Because people had cars to get them there. That is sprawl. If people didn't have easy access to these areas, they wouldn't be inhabited.

Americans do have a great love affair with their cars. It is a great convenience and luxury that we take for granted. Public transportation would be a much more efficient way of moving lots of people around, but nobody wants to be bothered.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:03pm
I just don't understand the attitude you have that you are thankful that you don't have a bus to ride. That is so bizarre to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:16pm
But you also have one child. We have two.

Personally, I demand that my kids have music lessons. Depending on schedules, that may just be one day a week or, like this year, two days a week. Then there is sports. We choose to put our kids in the YMCA sports program as long as possible. Unfortunately, DD is too old for their baseball program now (they only have t-ball), but they can both play the other sports for a lot longer. With the YMCA, it is usually two days a week. Either one practice and one game per week, or two practices or two games. But with two kids, if they are both playing soccer, and on different teams, that may be 3 nights right there (all games are on Saturdays, but practices vary). Then figure in church activities and art lessons or girl/boy scouts, and it makes for a hectic life if we were a dual WOH family.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:22pm
Except most people don't eschew bussing because they're afraid of hoodlums. Many people eschew bussing because of lack of seatbelts or for other reasons such as their before and after school care isn't on an approved route, or because their before or after school activities preclude catching their normal bus route.

As an example, because my son went to an after care program outside his assigned school's bus route, my ex had to take him to care after school every day. Because my son didn't ride the bus in the afternoon, he was not permitted to ride the bus in the morning. Plenty of kids face the same dilemma, whether it's a matter of their before/after school care programs, after school activities or joint custodial arrangements with one parent living outside the school district.

When we first moved to the condo (in John's 1st grade year), I spent most of the summer before seeking before/after care with a provider on our neighborhood bus route (school regulations prohibited a child riding a bus different from the one that was assigned to his neighborhood of record). There was 1 and we were on a waiting list for most of the summer, hoping a slot with her would open. and it did, fortunately. Halfway through that school year, the school system arbitrarily split the bus route in half, and my provider ended up on the OTHER route. I had to practically throw a fit to get the supervisor in charge of transportation for the county give my son a waiver permiting him to ride the other bus for the remainder of the year. If they hadn't agreed, my provider would have had to quit, and I would have had to find alternative care, outside the neighborhood route and John would have had to been taken via car to and from school.

Our school system is not unique in that requirement. Many school districts forbid children riding any bus other than the one to which they are assigned, and if a family's personal situation doesn't permit the child to be in the neighborhood to catch the bus, they have to drive the child to school.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:24pm
What I meant was silly is that sometimes the kids live so close, it is almost silly to even take the bus. My daughter's friend lives almost right across the street from the school. But, because it is a busy street, she is required to take the bus and not allowed to walk home. Her bus route is such that she is the last to be dropped off in the afternoon. What would be a 2 minute walk, turns into a 20 minute bus ride. That is silly.

She isn't little either. She is in the 6th grade.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:30pm
Ditto

S.V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:31pm
Oh the seat belts is a biggie for me. I don't buy that the buses are safe enough without them, no they aren't for my kids.

S.V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:34pm
WHatever. You are different, that is for sure!

Did I say WOHM's can't do the same things as SAHMS? Nope, Didn't. You can't call me personally on that one.

I really could care less about your little research and little studies. Blow it.........because I do not go buy such crap to justify or decide my positions and choices in life!

It made a difference to me personally that I had a sahm, I was always so thankful I wasn't a kid of a working mom. So I wanted to do the same for my kids. My husband had a working mom, it was enough for him to know he'd have a sahm for his kids!

S.V.

Avatar for mjdphd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 9:35pm
But you have to face that at some point, your child's life will interfere with family time. That is all a part of growing up. Yes, family time is important. I treasure it also. As the kids get older, there is just less of it. Not only do kids have activities, which I firmly believe are very important to their growth and development, kids also have friends. No one wants their kids so overly scheduled that you never see them, but sometimes kids want to do things that interfere with the family being together. Your child may be good enough to make the travel soccer team, or be a talented ice skater, or may like to dance, etc. Even one activity can take up a lot of time when he or she gets good at it. I am just saying that you need to be more flexible on how you look at family time versus your child developing a talent.

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