Do you think a SAHM should go back to...

Avatar for val10154
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Do you think a SAHM should go back to...
1368
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:46am

Do you think a SAHM should go back to work once the kids start school?



  • Absolutely, why shouldn't she? There's no reason why she shouldn't.
  • It's up to her & her family.
  • No, not really. What do the kids being in school have to do w/ her working?


You will not be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 9:31pm
Then you need to learn to word your statements properly:

"Higher SES, IN GENERAL is correlated with better outcomes for kids."

See then, you knock out all those kids who have experianced higher SES and saw no benefit from it whatsoever. I know TOO many "kids" (who are know adults) that never benefited from their parents higher SES. Unless you want to count the ability to buy the good drugs, as well as make college a career, because their parents had the money for it.

And like I said...."well know and widely accepted" doesn't do much for me when the basis of the well known and widely accepted are only numbers on a spread sheet. See, the thing that sucks about following statistics and turning them into Gods is that it doesn't actually look at the person. They might have went to college on their parents dime because of that higher SES...but that doesn't mean they made anything with themselves, because they are currently working in Daddy's lawfirm pushing papers, living the easy life.

Yup, statistics and widely accepted is based on numbers..not the person that created that number. And I stand by what I said...higher SES does not guarentee anything for the child other then some greenbacks. The guarentees fall soley on the parent and their level of involvement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 9:33pm
Millions of people manage to bring groceries, babies and diaper bags home on the bus every single day. You make it sound like you're the first person i the world that was ever raising more than one child simultaneously.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 10:21pm
LOL Still a FAR stronger argument for WOH being better for kids than SAH being better than kids. IN GENERAL, improvements from SES do benefit kids. In general SAH does squat. Yes there are situations where increased SES doesn't benefit kids and there are situations where SAH does even though the trends are the opposite. I never said every situation was X. However, comparing increased SES usually benefitting kids and SAH sometimes benefitting kids under certain situations you end up with a much stronger argument for WOH. No, nothing is absolute. If you want absolutes, you'll have to find another debate. I'll settle for usually to support my side of the argument over sometimes under certain circumstances, lol.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 10:25pm
I'm not talking in circles. The subject at hand is the situations under which SAH is better. We know that SAH is not better in general. It is however sometimes better under certain circumstances. It is those circumstances that are being debated here. Increased SES from WOH is in general better. We are comparing and debating about WOH situations where increased SES benefits kids and SAH situations where SAH benefits kids. In the case of the latter, there has to be some kind of special circumstance because SAH is not, in general, better. In the case of WOH there doesn't need to be special circumstance becuase increased SES from a second income (check the census data for actual figures) does improve outcomes for kids.

There is a separate situation under which SAH is chosen just because someone likes it. In this case, it's not something better just what mom prefers. It's neutral. Just as WOH would be if you take away the improvements in SES.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 10:27pm
WHEN it's in their family's best interest, yes. There are situations, like my cousin who is caring for a very ill child, where mom SAH because it is best for her family and not what she wants at all. She deserves a big hats off. Providing 24 x 7 care for an autistic child with other medical issues has got to be one tough row to hoe but she does it because she knows it has to be done.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 10:29pm
Simply stating that turn about is fair play and one is obligated to return what was given if the request is made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 11:09pm
Ya know what it has not hurt my family relationship's either it has strengthened them. We all just kinda tag along for each of em...ya know what i mean? i cant imagine whean each of em have something....yikes.

mine are all quite young yet. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 11:20pm
i didnt either until i saw it made the drop off system that much better. My kdg comes home with round about neighbors, and 2 big brothers and he only has to travel bout 2 miles without mom. It's good for us.


Edited 9/12/2003 11:38:04 PM ET by silverunity
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 11:29pm
CLW my marriage is not bout fair play and iam not obligated to my husband...sheesh, I LOVE my husband, so if he needs me we will work it out with respect and honor. Feeling obligated to my husband makes me look like i need more attention.





Edited 9/12/2003 11:40:29 PM ET by silverunity

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 11:29pm
So if you make (for example)$50k and your dh makes $50k, and I SAH and my dh makes $100k, whose children are better off?

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