Do you think you should rely on a man?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:33pm

In my years "knowing" you here, I know you did not and could not possibly insult Tanchick.  I did see you trying to insult, which I duly reported.  Don't know if anything will come of it.  I don't think even you got any thrill out of so clearly tryingto insult Tanchick.

Thanks Thardy Laughing Yeah, it doesn't bother me even though I KNOW it was a PURE insult to me. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:36pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>  I am sorry that you were insulted.  I did not mean to insult you.  It is just that earlier you said you did not have time to read books, and if you are seeing all your many friends, near and far, several times a month, it makes sense that your time to do other things in your free time is limited.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>No one here has read as much as I.  Uncredited phD programs or not.  And I find little value reading beyond entertainment since my education's been so full.  I just don't see why you'd think reading today's bestsellers makes for a full life.  If you expect the average woman on this board to read beyond bestsellers and BookClubBooks, please explain.  In my years here, I haven't seen a level of conversation rising to the level of the background of books I've read.</p>

I haven't seen any evidence of this and I don't believe you have any basis for your claims about others either.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:36pm

I did not say you had no balance in your life, Tan.

"All I said was that I can see why she has no time for reading since she seems to spend most of her free time socializing"

What type of balance would I have if I spent most of my free time socializing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:37pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I think that you missed the whole "I like a balanced life" part of that post.  I don't want to spend all my free time socializing.  I don't want to spend all my free time reading or gardening or working on home projects, either.  Four words:  "I like a balance."</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">So why would you think if someone socializes more than you that they have no balance in their life. I got up this morning, got everyone out the door, went to work, went to 2 exercise classes, have spoken with friends, conversed and eaten with kids and dh, will watch some TV tonight, have some time with dh after kids go to bed. This weekend I will see my friends but also run the kids around to sports things, birthday parties, etc. </span></strong></p>

Nobody said you didn't have balance...

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:38pm

No, TanChick, I did not intend to insult you. If you wish to take insult where no insult is intended, I can't stop you. There is no problem with preferring to do other things include besides read.

I am not insulted but your intention WAS to insult. Stop backpedaling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:38pm

It doesn't matter how little I spend on food if I have to pay for several tanks of gas, hotel rooms, etc.

That's the benefit of having friends closer to home, little gas, no hotel rooms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:39pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I am sorry that you were insulted.  I did not mean to insult you.  It is just that earlier you said you did not have time to read books, and if you are seeing all your many friends, near and far, several times a month, it makes sense that your time to do other things in your free time is limited.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">You KNOW you threw that insult right at me. I have balance in my life and right now I choose spending time with my dh, kids, friends, family. While books are good to escape, I try to stay right here in my life as it is better than most books <img src="/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" border="0" /></span></strong></p>

I think there is more to books than just escape.  While I do read "fluff", I also read to learn.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:41pm

I think there is more to books than just escape.  While I do read "fluff", I also read to learn.

That's great, so do I and yes, I DO read, just not all the time. When I do start, I can't stop and read several books at a time. Lately I have been so shot from exercise that I crash as soon as I hit the bed. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:41pm
I do not set how you can set all of your friends several times a month and still have time for much else. I usually have one social lunch a week and several evening social events a month. If I were to see all my friends, even those within an hour's driving distance, several times a month, I'd be out socializing three-four nights a week. And yes, I would find that exhausting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:42pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">We all remember, Tanchick.  I guess we're supposed to buy into this attempt at make-believe.  Even my younger dd doesn't do that anymore!  Even she knows it doesn't work, loses credibility.  Whatever, lol.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Now Bord wasn't trying to insult me, I wasn't lying about anything before. Bawahhaa...guess that is there way of keeping their board names by brown nosing the cm's. </span></strong></p>

It doesn't matter what most say, either its not read or it's spun into some type of fiction that one believes as reality....not that is your make believe world.  

PumpkinAngel

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