Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:51pm

I enjoy having friends both far and wide.  :)

That's great, so do I. What does that have to do with having friends nearby? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:52pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I think there is more to books than just escape.  While I do read "fluff", I also read to learn.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">That's great, so do I and yes, I DO read, just not all the time. When I do start, I can't stop and read several books at a time. Lately I have been so shot from exercise that I crash as soon as I hit the bed. </span></strong></p>

I read all the time, always carry a book....well, my kindle now.  I have found that if something is important to me than I find a way.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:54pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I do not set how you can set all of your friends several times a month and still have time for much else. I usually have one social lunch a week and several evening social events a month. If I were to see all my friends, even those within an hour's driving distance, several times a month, I'd be out socializing three-four nights a week. And yes, I would find that exhausting.

That's what you said earlier in the thread, you have friends locally and then you have some farther away.  I'm with you though, I can't do all of the social stuff that is available to me through work, friends, family and the kids school....I like some down time each week.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:55pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">lauren1063</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Tanchick had been asking if the friends were people that posters saw often, and the seeing them weekly issue had come up.  I'm merely pointing out that seeing them often isn't necessary.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I didn't meet all of my friends on the internet, but I've met a lot of them there.  And I've sustained most of my relationships via internet.  Pretty much all of my friends and family, right down to my 90-something great-aunt up until she passed away last month, are on the internet and I interact with many of them on a daily basis...no matter where I met them or how often I see them in person.  &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Are friendly exchanges on the internet completely sufficient, maybe preferable, to face to face visits with friends? </p>

Of course not. They do not take the place of face-to-face interaction. They supplement it. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:58pm

<<Ah yes, you were just distracting with those high level potato chip and name tag conversations.  

Distracting by keeping myself healthy? Bawahhhaa...maybe you should try it sometime.>

Wow, was that an attempt to insult?  Lost focus on the conversation again, more diversion and hoping that I remember that you didn't answer the questions.  Interesting.

<<<<Not saying sorry and a bummer many times? Bawhhhaa...good try. Stop nagging. I am not your family, I won't give in.>>

Why is that you have to tray and  insult a poster rather than have a conversation?   Did you miss the irony of this insult while complaining about projecting insults where there are none?  

You take that as an insult? I guess it is something you must do on a regular basis and actually feel bad for doing it but don't stop. lol.>>

I said try, read the posts.   Again, losing focus on the conversation.    All this diversion and no answer to the question, lol.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:58pm

I read all the time, always carry a book....well, my kindle now.  I have found that if something is important to me than I find a way.

I would rather speak to someone than ignoring them by reading a book when I am out of my house someplace. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 8:58pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px">Oh, you were knocking something no one said?   This must be the make believe that the poster mentioned.</p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong> Again, I knocked them IF they are chosen OVER people. Sigh.......</strong></p>

But again, that was never, ever mentioned in this conversation.  Total make believe.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:00pm

<<Ah yes, you were just distracting with those high level potato chip and name tag conversations.  

Distracting by keeping myself healthy? Bawahhhaa...maybe you should try it sometime.>

Wow, was that an attempt to insult?  Lost focus on the conversation again, more diversion and hoping that I remember that you didn't answer the questions.  Interesting.

Nope, unless you took it as one as not sure why you would unless you feel guilty that you don't take care of yourself, healthy wise.

<<<<Not saying sorry and a bummer many times? Bawhhhaa...good try. Stop nagging. I am not your family, I won't give in.>>

Why is that you have to tray and  insult a poster rather than have a conversation?   Did you miss the irony of this insult while complaining about projecting insults where there are none?  

You take that as an insult? I guess it is something you must do on a regular basis and actually feel bad for doing it but don't stop. lol.>>

I said try, read the posts.   Again, losing focus on the conversation.    All this diversion and no answer to the question, lol.

No, not really. I am not into the nagging.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:01pm

But again, that was never, ever mentioned in this conversation.  Total make believe.

No, it is not make believe. Bord said she would rather do gardening and reading then socializing. Go back and re-read the post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:01pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">But again, as I have told you a dozen times, you are blocked on my facebook.  I wouldn't see them on facebook because again, you are blocked on facebook due to the past poor behavior, I will not unblock on facebook. I wouldn't comment seeing them on facebook because I wouldn't for anything, unblock on facebook so "if" I made the comment about seeing them....then it would again, have to be here, not on facebook because...well blocked on facebook.  Blocked.  On.  Facebook.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">I KNOW you have me blocked. You DO know that others do not and I am SURE my "stalkers" check it out all the time since comments have come back to me indicating that they have seen certain things on it.</span></strong></p>

But again, blocked on facebook.  I'm talking about my actions, not others..I don't care what you post or don't post on facebook because again...blocked on facebook.  What part of that is not clear?  

PumpkinAngel

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