Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:13pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Too much to ask to be suportive and understanding instead of judgemental?  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I am SURE she was supportive to her friend but that does not mean in private, it bothered her. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I can understand being judgmental and keeping it to oneself.  I'm "guilty" of that. </p><p>Unfortunately in this case, jb3 didn't judge in private. She judged on a very public message board.</p>

Actually, You're wrong.  Puking inside my mouth isn't judgemental, it's humor at the costs of a site you pay money for despite your argument otherwise, friend even finds it funny.  I'm sorry you don't know my friend.  Do stop the whose judging who savcal.   

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:16pm

So then you understand others who have friends who are out of state or far away?

Understand? That makes no sense. I never said I didn't have friends out of state or far away.

Why would you say the things you did about bord not understanding then?

Never said that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:16pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Well, that's a off the wall assumption since I didn't mention anything about ignoring someone.  Why are you assuming such a thing when it clearly hasn't been said?  More make believe land?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">So where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?</span></strong></p>

Why did you make the assumption about ignoring people?  You didn't answer the question about your made up assumptions.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:17pm
I know you judge, like at families with special needs children who don't get yanked out of public school for private school + tutoring.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:18pm
So where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?</span></strong></p>

Why did you make the assumption about ignoring people?  You didn't answer the question about your made up assumptions.

Again, where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:27pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Jamblessed's friend? She might THINK Jamblessed is her friend, but she's wrong. Real friends don't get on message boards and post nasty opinions behind your back. Better to have half a dozen real friends than a couple dozen posers, IMO.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Posers? Bawahhhaaa...trying to get hip? lololol. So you would tell your friend you just puked a little in your mouth because she spent thousands of dollars on an online site to meet a man?</span></strong></p>

I really need to learn that block feature on facebook, there's apparently some stalkers that know my friends there more than I, Makes me shriek....  And well, puke inside my mouth a little..

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:29pm

<<Why would you say the things you did about bord not understanding then?

Never said that.>>

I kinda lost track....here are a few.


<<You don't have many friends now, do you? lolololol>>

<<When you don't have many friends, I can see how you couldn't.>>

<<Who said anything about lying to them? Again, a little couth goes a long way. You would know that if you REALLY had real friends.>>

<<Again, your friends OFF this board. Don't you have any friends that are NOT on this board or any other online board?>>

<<o you don't come up with many situations like the one Jams has spoken about because it seems many, if not all of your friends are online. Not much "face time".>>

<<And I was speaking of friends you see IRL, not just every once in awhile.>>

<<EXACTLY. I don't consider someone you speak ONLY online and see a few times a year THAT type of friend. >>

<<No, it doesn't but for conversations like the one presented to us, you are hiding behind a computer and it sounds like you don't have much IRL friends that you interact with on a regular basis. THIS is the reason you are not getting what we are talking about.>>

<<Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't be happy seeing my friends only "every once in awhile".>>

<<Not agreeing with someone about their choices is TOTALLY normal AND to still be their friend. Talking behind their back to another friend, THAT is not right. Talking about a story to strangers online to total strangers makes no difference in the friendship between the 2 people. She still supported her decision. That is what a friend does for a friend. Since you don't seem to spend much time with friends IRL, I guess it is harder to understand. >>

<<EXACTLY. Friends help one another and support one another. If you have no IRL friends that you see on a regular basis, it is probably hard to understand that. Relationships online are MUCH different.>>

<<That's nice. I like to see my friends more often than that. That is how we are close friends. Spending time together and doing things together makes you closer friends.>> 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:31pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
I know you judge, like at families with special needs children who don't get yanked out of public school for private school + tutoring.

What on earth are you talking about and why are you bringing special needs children into the conversation?  Yanked out of public school?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:33pm
Sorry, you're making up the whole thing about me being judgemental about families of special needs children, Jamblessed. That's actually a pretty rotten thing to say about me, besides being untrue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 9:33pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<blockquote>So where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px"></p><p style="font-size:13px">Why did you make the assumption about ignoring people?  You didn't answer the question about your made up assumptions.</p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong>Again, where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?</strong></p>

Interesting, you didn't answer my questions again, diversion on to me.  Hmm.

 

PumpkinAngel

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