Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 7:33am

We don't watch sports or play poker or pool. We prefer parties of four couples or so to larger gatherings. We are not into potlucks. We go to them from time to time, but do prefer dinner out or a dinner party to a potluck, usually. We do have a few friends that we throw together what I would call more "cooperative parties" than potlucks. In one case, I will do the sides and dessert and the other couple, who have a smoker, will do the meat.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:08am

tanchick2013 wrote:
I would rather speak to someone than ignoring them by reading a book when I am out of my house someplace. </span></span></strong></p>

BAER.  Love how you jumped to THAT conclusion. Training for the Olympics?

I take my Kindle a lot of places too. I often read while The Boy is in his trumpet lesson, for example.  Or when he's at an orthodontist appointment.  But I supposed I should speak to people instead? Like the complete and total strangers in the waiting room? Or the random college student walking by in the arts center?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:09am

tanchick2013 wrote:
Yes, it is harder to see out of state friends, I get that. I haven't seen some in many, many years. I am truly lucky that many of my closest friends ARE close to me though. The others we have relationships online and through letters and phone calls.</span></span></strong></p>

EGADS!

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:12am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Well, that's a off the wall assumption since I didn't mention anything about ignoring someone.  Why are you assuming such a thing when it clearly hasn't been said?  More make believe land?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">So where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?</span></strong></p>

I've played this game already, but I"m up for playing again! 

Let's see:  while waiting for The Boy when he's at a trumpet lesson or orthodontist appointment, when I'm in a doctor's office waiting room, on my lunch break (either at my desk or outside somewhere on campus), when sitting in the parking lot waiting to pick up a kid from band or other activity ... those are a few examples.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:13am

jamblessedthree wrote:
I know you judge, like at families with special needs children who don't get yanked out of public school for private school + tutoring.

Who are you talking to?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:15am

bordwithyou wrote:
Who else calls herself a social butterfly, Jamblessed?

I think she might be referring to me. I've called myself that numerous times - IRL and probably on this board too. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:17am

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>Yes, it is harder to see out of state friends, I get that. I haven't seen some in many, many years. I am truly lucky that many of my closest friends ARE close to me though. <em><strong>The others we have relationships online</strong></em> and through letters and phone calls.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>EGADS!</p>

Always interesting when the conversation comes full circle back to what one was mocking earlier....lol.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:23am

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Well, that's a off the wall assumption since I didn't mention anything about ignoring someone.  Why are you assuming such a thing when it clearly hasn't been said?  More make believe land?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;So where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I've played this game already, but I"m up for playing again! </p><p>Let's see:  while waiting for The Boy when he's at a trumpet lesson or orthodontist appointment, when I'm in a doctor's office waiting room, on my lunch break (either at my desk or outside somewhere on campus), when sitting in the parking lot waiting to pick up a kid from band or other activity ... those are a few examples.</p>

There are so many examples, I found it odd to leap to the conculsion that I wasn't talking to people, I was ignoring them to read.  Me.  Not.  Talking.  Did you lol over that one too?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:29am

Interesting, you didn't answer my questions again, diversion on to me.  Hmm.

If it is about differences, I have explained 2 MILLION times over the years how I know about differences and that my dh and his family is just one example. Many of my friends are very different and they are STILL my friends as I learn from them as well as they learn from me. 
Again, where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?
Why are you ignoring this question? 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 9:33am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Interesting, you didn't answer my questions again, diversion on to me.  Hmm.</p><div><strong>If it is about differences, I have explained 2 MILLION times over the years how I know about differences and that my dh and his family is just one example. Many of my friends are very different and they are STILL my friends as I learn from them as well as they learn from me. </strong></div><div></div><div><strong><span style="background-color:#f6f6f6; font-size:13px; text-align:left">Again, where do you read your kindle when you are out of the house?</span></strong></div><div></div><div><strong>Why are you ignoring this question? </strong></div>

No, I am asking why you didn't answer my question about assumption of ignoring people to read.  No, it's not about differences, I know you know about them...the question is why are you "sorry" when someone is different.  Why do you say "I'm sorry" that this is different?

I'm not ignoring your question, I'm waiting for you to answer why you assumed that I was ignoring people to read my kindle.  

PumpkinAngel

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