Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:14am

<<....and assumption that I'm not talking to people.  

Assumption because you did not ask my question that I asked over and over.>

No, you made that assumption before you asked the question on when I use my kindle.  I posted about my kindle, you made an assumption, I asked about that assumption and you didn't answer why you made that assumption.  Read the posts already.

<<I am just going by what you posted:   I read all the time, always carry a book....well, my kindle now.  I have found that if something is important to me than I find a way.>>

Oh and look....it doesn't say a single thing about ignoring people in that statement.  Shocking.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:15am

Consider this proof positive that you don't read the posts.  Change the posts to 50 per page and go to page 14 to see the question not only in my posts, but quoted in yours.  It's pretty clear that you didn't bother to read the posts.  Wink

Can you please just post it. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:17am

I did, que the double standard.  Wink

Nope. Again, checking to see what is going on later. Meaning, I will see at least one of these people that day. lol. Not sitting at a football/baseball, etc. game with my nose in a book to people you see every.single.week. Oh, but you don't do that now, right? lololol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:18am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Some families are busy within their own family and have limited funds.  Do you not understand families that have different dynamics than your own?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Umm...again, yes, I do understand, very well. As friends we talk about things like this and this is when we all help out. The point is to get together and have fun and socialize. We don't stop doing that because of limited funds. We try and accomodate everyone's schedules too. Tomorrow my son has a bday party. We are still going to the BBQ. We always find a way as well as does my other friends. Sometimes you HAVE to skip a party because it is just not feasible. Otherwise, you come later on. Again, the point is just to get together.</span></strong></p>

If you understand diffences than why would you ask such a question as if you had no idea that some people can't find the energy or funds to socalize?  That is not logical, if you understand that there are differences than you wouldn't ask the questions or make the comments that you do.  If you understand "very well" that family dynamics are different across the board you wouldn't assume that people can just work it out in the same fashion that you work it out.

So instead posts like this below show clearly that you don't understand that family dynamics are vastly different across the boad.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:18am

The runaround is not going to work PKA, but thanks for trying. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:21am

If you understand diffences than why would you ask such a question as if you had no idea that some people can't find the energy or funds to socalize?

Because again, it CAN be doable. I guess it just is not that important to some to get together with good friends. 

That is not logical, if you understand that there are differences than you wouldn't ask the questions or make the comments that you do.  If you understand "very well" that family dynamics are different across the board you wouldn't assume that people can just work it out in the same fashion that you work it out.

See my post above.

So instead posts like this below show clearly that you don't understand that family dynamics are vastly different across the boad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:29am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Consider this proof positive that you don't read the posts.  Change the posts to 50 per page and go to page 14 to see the question not only in my posts, but quoted in yours.  It's pretty clear that you didn't bother to read the posts.  </span><img src="http://www.ivillage.com/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" border="0" style="font-size:13px; text-align:left" /></p><p><strong>Can you please just post it. Thanks.</strong></p>

Again:  Change the posts to 50 per page and go to page 14 to see the question not only in my posts, but quoted in yours.  It's pretty clear that you didn't bother to read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:31am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p>The runaround is not going to work PKA, but thanks for trying. </p>

I know, it's not working for you...the double standard is clear.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:35am

<<Because again, it CAN be doable. I guess it just is not that important to some to get together with good friends. >>

Well yea, but nobody said it wasn't doable and no it's not about importance and if you truly understood differences you would know that already.  By telling posters that you are "sorry" about differences and continuing to ignore explanations of why something can be done clealry shows a lack of understanding in the differences in family dynamics.  

It can be exhausting and expensive and nothing you have said counters that, because it can be exhausting and expensive.  Stop ignoring the differences in families and people.



PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:37am

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I did, que the double standard.  </span><img src="http://www.ivillage.com/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" border="0" style="font-size:13px; text-align:left" /></p><p><strong>Nope. Again, checking to see what is going on later. Meaning, I will see at least one of these people that day. lol. Not sitting at a football/baseball, etc. game with my nose in a book to people you see every.single.week. Oh, but you don't do that now, right? lololol.</strong></p>

I have never sat at a game with my nose in a book to people I see every week, ever.  

PumpkinAngel

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