Do you think you should rely on a man?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:15pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>I wasn't talking about socializing AT work. This was about going out with friends AFTER work.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I personally have very limited time and energy to go out after work.  It happens - probably once every 2 weeks or so - but isn't frequent. Most of my "socializing" happens on the weekend.    Luckily, the friends with whom I socialize understand that ... and we accomodate each to the best of our abilities.</p>

I agree, much of my during the week is full of work, family, kid and school stuff...I don't usually have too much time for mid week socialzing, all though it does happen 2-3 times a month.  Most of my true social stuff is on the weekends.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:16pm

Because if it's not after work and it's not at work, then where/when is it?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:17pm

pumpkinangel wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;tanchick2013&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;I wasn't talking about socializing AT work. This was about going out with friends AFTER work.&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I personally have very limited time and energy to go out after work.  It happens - probably once every 2 weeks or so - but isn't frequent. Most of my "socializing" happens on the weekend.    Luckily, the friends with whom I socialize understand that ... and we accomodate each to the best of our abilities.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I agree, much of my during the week is full of work, family, kid and school stuff...I don't usually have too much time for mid week socialzing, all though it does happen 2-3 times a month.  Most of my true social stuff is on the weekends.</p>

What is this "weekend" of which you speak???


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:18pm

<Again, I don't have the same exact circle of friends. I have a few different circles and everyone IS different in them. We ALL do different things. STOP assuming that I think EVERYONE is the SAME as myself as I CLEARY know that they are not. Sigh....>>

Then stop posting as if that is the only thing you know.  How you can't see that someone could be exhausted after working and not feel like going out is just....well, not logical.  Just because you feel that you could do it doesn't mean that someone else could or wants to go out after working all day.  This is not complicated, why can't you just understand that some people are too tired to socialize and may not have the funds to do so?  This is not rocket science.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:23pm

Because if it's not after work and it's not at work, then where/when is it?

On a day you are NOT working. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:24pm

<Again, I don't have the same exact circle of friends. I have a few different circles and everyone IS different in them. We ALL do different things. STOP assuming that I think EVERYONE is the SAME as myself as I CLEARY know that they are not. Sigh....>>

Then stop posting as if that is the only thing you know.  How you can't see that someone could be exhausted after working and not feel like going out is just....well, not logical.  Just because you feel that you could do it doesn't mean that someone else could or wants to go out after working all day.  This is not complicated, why can't you just understand that some people are too tired to socialize and may not have the funds to do so?  This is not rocket science.

Do you have any other examples since we have EXHAUSTED this one?...sigh....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:26pm

Oops, sorry.  I'd forgotten that those exist.  


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:30pm

Oops, sorry.  I'd forgotten that those exist.  

You work 7 days a week, every.single.week of the year?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:30pm

Why do we need other examples?  Why is this one not good enough?  Some people are too tired or lack the funds to socialize any more than they do.  Why is that such a difficult concept?  

That really isn't the only reason...there are probably thousands of them.  Why does it matter?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 2:32pm

Why do we need other examples?  Why is this one not good enough?  Some people are too tired or lack the funds to socialize any more than they do.  Why is that such a difficult concept?  

That really isn't the only reason...there are probably thousands of them.  Why does it matter?

Just trying to see what other ones might be that I didn't think of. You know, differences. Everyone is different so some more examples would be good Laughing

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