Do you think you should rely on a man?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:07pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>Gotcha, You lucked out and are in a marriage that survived unlike a marriage - just like yours - that would not..... </p><p>I have lots of school work to tackle but will finish replying to some of this later, Interesting direction this has taken. </p>

I don't think this is a gotcha moment, that's not what was said.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:10pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>I'm amused that there is a stroke of luck to a marriage, a marriage is like the lottery to some I suppose... If it fails gamble for your next partner on match dot com, you're bound to find again there.  Lol. </p>

You're amused while mocking, interesting...is that a lack of luck or character?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:11pm
Hi jzy.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:14pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>Then EVERYONE has luck?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>No -- my friend whose dh died of brain cancer when they had two young kids was not lucky.  My WW leader who lost her husband to a sudden heart attack when they had two girls in HS and one in college was not lucky.  My HS friend whose husband left her for another man - while she was homeschooling two young boys - was not lucky.</p><p> </p>

You are triviliazing luck, Wow. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:16pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">litlmiss_cantbewrong</em> wrote:</div>&gt;I'm done.  Tanchick you continue to stubbornly argue something that has been pointed out to you many times is not what she is saying.  Continuing to point this out is fruitless and a waste of time.  I'd rather stare at the ceiling, it would be more productive.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I agree with Hollie meeting the right person and marriage has a component of luck.  God's plan has nothing to do with it, IMO.  However Tanchick you can continue to say that God plans up your life for you and continue to not see the difference and trying to argue other things that are not even compatible.  No one may actually argue from this point forward that I am saying other stupid things that I am not saying.  LIke marriage doesn't take work, etc.  Because you will look silly and I'm not going to read them anyway.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>And let me just say - if a person believes that meeting the right person (or any other event or circumstance in their life) was God's plan, that's their right and I wont say that belief is wrong.  I respect their belief.  Just like they should respect mine.</p>

For me, I think it's both....I think there is luck (good and bad) involved, but I also believe that God has a plan.  I also know that while I believe that he has a plan, I don't always have the open heart to accept that plan because I'm human.  I respect those that believe differently of course.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:19pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;tanchick2013&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;Then EVERYONE has luck?&amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;No -- my friend whose dh died of brain cancer when they had two young kids was not lucky.  My WW leader who lost her husband to a sudden heart attack when they had two girls in HS and one in college was not lucky.  My HS friend whose husband left her for another man - while she was homeschooling two young boys - was not lucky.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>You are triviliazing luck, Wow. </p>

No, just NO...that is not what she was doing, that is however exactly what you are doing.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:21pm

tanchick2013 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That's not even close to what I said.  To put this back into context (you booted it so far out of context it is in the stratosphere), the unlucky circumstance of losing her husband early made it impossible for her to be a SAHP.  That was the conversation at hand - how luck can play a role in being able to be a SAHP and be dependent on a man.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Things have worked out well for her - her children are successful and happy. She's found a career that she's fabulous at. But those things weren't luck. Those things were hard work and CHARACTER.  Those things were in spite of the bad luck.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Those things were the way God PLANNED them to be. Were they HORRIBLE situations? Absolutely. There is a reason for everything.</strong></p>

I can't believe the absurdity in calling someone else's cancer and cheating bad luck, Let's hope the people she's talking about don't know she's describing it that way...

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:23pm
Oh savcal, You don't go to church, No... How is it you know where luck lies again?

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:26pm
OMG, luck isn't God given cantbewrong, Lol.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 9:36pm

Actually calling someone else's "tragedy" unlucky is what's arrogant. I'm sure that flew right over you? 

 


 


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