Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:08pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
Oh savcal, You don't go to church, No... How is it you know where luck lies again?

One has to go to church to know about luck? 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:10pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">tanchick2013</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;I'm amused that there is a stroke of luck to a marriage, a marriage is like the lottery to some I suppose... If it fails gamble for your next partner on match dot com, you're bound to find again there.  Lol. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Bawahhhaaa....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I couldn't help but think of match dot com, It's like you pay the site for a date and take your chances...  Maybe you get lucky..</p>

Match.com definitely involves an element of luck.  I was lucky that my dh was using the site at the same time I was, for example.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:15pm

bordwithyou wrote:
Why is it arrogant to call a tragedy bad luck when that's what it is?

Tomorrow is another anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy...  Did those families that lost loved ones experience bad luck IYO?  Were the ones that survived lucky? 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:20pm
I birve the 9/11 events came about because of human evil, and yes, the victims were random and were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thousands of planes took off that day; only a few crashed. The only deaths that were not bad luck were those heroic first responders who CHOSE to enter the inferno in hopes of saving others, IMO. I don't believe it was God's plan to wipe those poor people off the face of the earth and the jihadists were his tools to make that happen.
Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:21pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Why is it arrogant to call a tragedy bad luck when that's what it is?</blockquote></p><p>Tomorrow is another anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy...  Did those families that lost loved ones experience bad luck IYO?  Were the ones that survived lucky? </p>

No one that was affected, in any way, by the 9/11 tragedies were lucky.  And they weren't unlucky either - that had nothing to do with luck - that had to do with evil evil people making a choice to do the unthinkable. 

I take that back - my xh was lucky.  He was scheduled to be at the Pentagon, in the section that was hit, on that day, but his meeting was rescheduled.  I'd call that lucky. There are probably additional similar stories that I might call luck. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 10:39pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Why is it arrogant to call a tragedy bad luck when that's what it is?</blockquote></p><p>Tomorrow is another anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy...  Did those families that lost loved ones experience bad luck IYO?  Were the ones that survived lucky? </p>

What happened was a crime, a purposeful commitment of a crime.  Those who lost loved ones were victims of a crime and those who survived were also victims.  Now how you can compare a crime to a medical diagnosis is unknown and of course as usual, unexplained.  

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 8:11am

bordwithyou wrote:
I birve the 9/11 events came about because of human evil, and yes, the victims were random and were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thousands of planes took off that day; only a few crashed. The only deaths that were not bad luck were those heroic first responders who CHOSE to enter the inferno in hopes of saving others, IMO. I don't believe it was God's plan to wipe those poor people off the face of the earth and the jihadists were his tools to make that happen.

So those that died were unlucky? At least you're consistent in connecting tragedy to luck I guess...  I won't play God or presume where luck lied that day. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 8:32am
Jamblessed, do you have any explanation for why those people died that day? Do you believe that the terrorism was part of "God's Plan," and that he wanted those people dead that day? I don't. I believe God wants all of his children to live long and prosper, but that he allows humans freedom of choice, and that some of his children chose to do an evil thing that day. I do not believe the people who were killed were killed for any purpose; they were random victims who were in the wrong place at the wrong time when other people chose to act in an evil manner.
Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 9:08am

<< I believe God wants all of his children to live long and prosper >>

No, that would be Spock. Tongue Out

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 9:12am

I did not say that his character was why I could SAH,  I said that his character in putting his family first is why we are still married and others are not. 

Again character has nothing to do with income.  I never said that it did.  There are many wonderful, loving DH's whose income is not enough to support their household. 

But you think that the reason you were able to stay home was because of his character, correct? That he is a "working" man who did everything for his famiy, correct?

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