Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:27am

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>"<span>And statement like this are one of the many reasons I'm an agnostic." </span></p><p><strong><span>Just FTR, most Christian churches do not go with predestination. My church would consider such a belief heretical.</span></strong></p>


Agreed.  however, I find that many Christians, even those belonging to a church that does not support predestination, say things like this all the time "It was God's plan." or "Well, God must have something better in store for you." etc.  

 

Oh carp .. .i said I wasn't going to do a religious debate.  *shutting up now*

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:27am

That's not even supported scripturally or by Catholic doctrine. You just made that up. Fine if it works for you, but there's no way you can demonstrate your cosmology to be objectively true.

Did I SAY that it was supported scripturally or by Catholic doctrine? "I" believe in that. Always have, always will. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:29am
I believe things happen for a reason, too. But sometimes the reason is you were stupid. Or the other guy was driving drunk. Or you misjudged a person's character.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:29am

I completely disagree.  I think we make our own lives and create our own paths, in the presence of luck (both good and bad).  I don't think these things are planned to that extent. I think the concept of "fate" can play in, in small doses or with particular singular events, but that the majority of our lives are of our own making.

Yes, I believe that it is the choices that we make also. You can't just sit around and do nothing and have things in life. I do believe that things happen for reasons. Always have and always will. Too many things in my life to not believe that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:29am

bordwithyou wrote:
<p>This conversation reminds me of the time I tried to explain "aqua" to a friend who has been blind from birth. She was interested in the concept, but that's about as far as it went.</p>

Very good point.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:33am

bordwithyou wrote:
Not everyone believes in predestination.

While I believe in God's plan for us, I also believe that we make choices that may or may not agree with his plan.  Some people purposely choose bad things to happen to them, the courts are full of bad decision makers.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:34am

<<And statement like this are one of the many reasons I'm an agnostic.  1) It assumes the person you're speaking to is a Christian or at least religous enough to belive in God. and 2) I can't support a notion that God plans for a young man to die a terrible death in the prime of his life. 

But, this isn't the place for a religion debate, so I'll stop now.>>

Problem is that while some may believe God has a plan for them, not everyone listens to that plan.  There are people who make bad decisions, just watch the news or read the crime reports in the paper.  

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:37am

"I find that many Christians, even those belonging to a church that does not support predestination, say things like this all the time "It was God's plan." or "Well, God must have something better in store for you." etc."

Perhaps, although I have never come across such sentiments from any of the (many) Christians I know IRL. You typically have to get into fairly extreme Protestant sects to find such beliefs as a regular thing. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:37am
You can believe whatever you want, Tanchick, and if it makes your life work, then fine. But then to tell people their understandings are wrong just because the stuff you made up in your head is different, makes you seem both arrogant and foolish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:39am

Problem is that while some may believe God has a plan for them, not everyone listens to that plan.  There are people who make bad decisions, just watch the news or read the crime reports in the paper.  

And you don't think they get caught for a reason? Maybe to straighten up their lives?

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