Do you think you should rely on a man?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think you should rely on a man?
1648
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 3:45pm

I thought the following article was a good read.  It conveys an important message that whatever you decide to do, be prepared to support yourself because you can't count on a man to be there to take care of you.   The author found herself divorced, her ex quit his job and she had a very hard time making ends meet: 

No matter what you do in life, whether you aspire to career greatness or whether you embrace motherhood and housekeeping with open arms, or whether you find yourself doing both of these things at the same time, do it well. Do it with everything you have, with all your heart and with great gusto. But do it wisely.

Don't ever make the same mistake I did and put your life in someone else's hands. And always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B.

Tell your daughters and your granddaughters and all the other girls in your life this: It's OK to fall in love and have babies and be the homemaker. It's also OK to go to law school or business school or medical school or to beauty school or trade school. In fact, it's more than OK if you want to do BOTH. Better than OK... it's the smart thing to do. Tell our girls that they really can have it all, but ALL on their terms.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/mama-dont-let-your-babies_grow-up-to-be-housewives_b_3773133.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

This is something I feel very strongly about, you never know what life has in store for you so you should be prepared.  

What do you think of her advice? 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:40am

You can believe whatever you want, Tanchick, and if it makes your life work, then fine. But then to tell people their understandings are wrong just because the stuff you made up in your head is different, makes you seem both arrogant and foolish.

No need to be rude. I was not rude to you or anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:41am

bordwithyou wrote:
You can believe whatever you want, Tanchick, and if it makes your life work, then fine. But then to tell people their understandings are wrong just because the stuff you made up in your head is different, makes you seem both arrogant and foolish.

Yes, that would be an example of making a bad decision.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:46am

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>"<span>I find that many Christians, even those belonging to a church that does not support predestination, say things like this all the time "It was God's plan." or "Well, God must have something better in store for you." etc."</span></p><p><strong><span>Perhaps, although I have never come across such sentiments from any of the (many) Christians I know IRL. You typically have to get into fairly extreme Protestant sects to find such beliefs as a regular thing. </span></strong></p>

I've heard it often, its a common theme among the Christians I know IRL, but with the caveat that we as humans in general try and wrestle control of our life from God by making our own plans, have our own theories and in general make bad decisions at times and are at the mercy of other people's bad decisions as well.   We as humans are a flawed.  I just had a discussion about this yesterday with another mom actually, interesting.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:47am

I've heard it often, its a common theme among the Christians I know IRL, but with the caveat that we as humans in general try and wrestle control of our life from God by making our own plans, have our own theories and in general make bad decisions at times and are at the mercy of other people's bad decisions as well.   We as humans are a flawed.  I just had a discussion about this yesterday with another mom actually, interesting.

Of course we are flawed, we are human and ALL humans are flawed. Many things happen for our own decisions we make in life. Others are made for us, some good, some bad. 

Did you never have anything that you were just astonished by and in the "human" world would never be able to figure out why? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:49am
That wasn't rude, Tanchick. It is fact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:50am

makes you seem both arrogant and foolish

THAT is rude.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:51am

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>"<span>I find that many Christians, even those belonging to a church that does not support predestination, say things like this all the time "It was God's plan." or "Well, God must have something better in store for you." etc."</span></p><p><strong><span>Perhaps, although I have never come across such sentiments from any of the (many) Christians I know IRL. You typically have to get into fairly extreme Protestant sects to find such beliefs as a regular thing. </span></strong></p>

HA! You've obviously not lived in Oklahoma ... lol

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:54am
No, it is rude to arrogantly assume you know how the universe works and tell someone that it's "God's plan" for them to experience tragedy.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:55am

"HA! You've obviously not lived in Oklahoma ... lol"

Nope, and there are reasons for that ;) If I wanted to live with Calvinists and the like, I would at least go do it in Switzerland or something. Although both Switzerland and OK have another problem from my POV - no sea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2013
Tue, 09-10-2013 - 11:55am

No, it is rude to arrogantly assume you know how the universe works and tell someone that it's "God's plan" for them to experience tragedy.

Then WHOSE plan is it? Have you NEVER experienced anything that could NOT be humanly possible?

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