Does SAH create demanding children?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does SAH create demanding children?
113
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:03am
I am reading The Mask of Motherhood and although I am not in total agreement of her theories and discussions, I thought they would be interesting in the context of this board.

One of her discussions focuses around the idea that now that mothers have more time/less household demands coupled with the parenting child-centered philosphies that the children have become more demanding of our time and attention.

Of course this discussion can take place regardless of employment status, but as the author seemed to be a SAHP, she clearly points to this as part of the reason we have "selfish brats".

SUS

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 10:46am
Selfish to who? You?

What is selfish to you isn't to my dh & I. We decided together how this would be.

This is how my dh & I decided it would be. He said, you work, it is your money. It is your choice to work or stay home. No, I don't have any financial responsibility because he wants to provide the mortgage, bills, necessities and even takes care of the extras (lessons, whatever). My dh doesn't want to do the same. He is the provider for the family.

My money is spent on whatever. It can be a family vacation. It can be a spa trip for me. It can be for extra clothes for dh and the kids. It can be for my extra clothes. (Dh buys the clothes, this is extra spending).

If I decide I want a new living room full of furniture then I have the money to buy it. It makes it lovely to be able to live this way for us. It is nice to buy new patio furniture we don't have to take it out of the regular bill paying, necessity account.

It is ok for me to do this since it was an agreement btw both of us together.

And although we have separate checking accounts, one for my check, one for his. They both have our names on them. They both issue us debit cards. If he wants to buy something extra he is more than welcome to spend from my checking account and without mentioning a word to me first. It goes the other way also.






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 10:48am
see my other post (can't figure out above or below with this new set up) as I explained in detail.

My dh still pays for everything just as if I didn't work.

My money is extra. For me, for him, for the kids. But we could live the same life style if I didn't have that paycheck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 12:55pm
Well, that's kind of what I said, but would you really be living the same lifestyle on only one paycheck? The extra stuff now is probably stuff you could get along without, but wouldn't you miss if you didn't have it? I imagine whoever said it was selfish was going on the assumption that you might be spending your whole paycheck on designer clothes for yourself or whatever, while DH was buying all the necessities for the rest of the family. That isn't how I read your clarification. :)

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