Does SAH create demanding children?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does SAH create demanding children?
113
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:03am
I am reading The Mask of Motherhood and although I am not in total agreement of her theories and discussions, I thought they would be interesting in the context of this board.

One of her discussions focuses around the idea that now that mothers have more time/less household demands coupled with the parenting child-centered philosphies that the children have become more demanding of our time and attention.

Of course this discussion can take place regardless of employment status, but as the author seemed to be a SAHP, she clearly points to this as part of the reason we have "selfish brats".

SUS

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:57am
That's OK -- sometimes things get misinterpreted here, and I don't think this new format is helping!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:01am
Yes! And *midol setting in* I can't say my morning has been gleaming here either, lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:12am
You know...I just had a strange thought.

*I* had a SAHM.

All the symptoms are there. I've gotten thrown *so* out-of-whack by this board change. I want the old one back and I want it back NOW!!!! ...am I one of these demanding SAHM creations?


;-)

Lauren


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:45pm
I think,quite frankly,well off older parents are creating brats,and yuppies.The older parents who had infertility issues or adopted seem so thankful(which is completely understandable) that they treat their child as an object d'art-think Kathie Lee for my stereotyped older well -off mom,LOL!

I entertain myself endlessly whil watching two moms in my neighborhood square off.The neighborhood is transitioning from older "townies" to younger professionals.The mom who is more of a working class mindeset is pretty lovingly strict with her kids,who are really well behaved.Yuppie mom likes to let her children express themselves,and theya re brats.Sometimes the worlds crash,like when Yuppie kid mouths of to Strict mom.Oh,boy,that was fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 4:53pm
I think projects can seem to hang over you more at home than when you can leave them at work,if you KWIM.Plus,your time is still rationed into segments.I know I have to do some things between 9-11 AM Monday,for instance, or they won't get done easily or well for the rest of the week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 6:46pm
i think children are going to take what they can get. if we dont allow it, it wont happen. one of my little tricks while raising children is to *not* keep score. i have expressed this in the past and is easily one of the hands down successful tactics so to speak, i have used over the years. i have never bought/brought one something only because i bought/brought something for the other. they are different people and require different things. just because i bought new hair bows for dd, did not mean i bought something for the others. i have seen parents get so caught up in this, it makes them crazy and the kids had the parents "over a barrel". im not a perfect parent and if i had to do it over, i would definitely change some of my choices i made, but this is one thing i am thankful i did and would never change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 7:47pm
I see a lot of that, also.........I am amazed at how some of the really educated, affluent parents do things. It's really not what I expected; I guess I expect someone with a PHD to at least be able to get their kid to wear a bike helmut. I had one PHD mom complain to me that her five year old won't wear her helmut....so I said, "Why don't you take the bike away until she wears it?" She looked at me incredulously, like that was absolutely immpossible.

I know one VP with an MA whose 7 year old is up until all hours watching all kinds of innappropriate things on TV. I guess I just expect more of people who have all the advantages of wealth and education.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:47am
I think people pick things out in their lives that reinforce their prejudicial beliefs, while ignoring all the evidence that might contradict it.

Nothing but stereotypical, biased drivel...all of it. Bad parenting crosses all boundaries regardless of SES. The aged and the wealthy have not cornered the market on that one. Please. Let's please not get into pointing out all the recent crackpot um....maladjusted who had SAHPs. Because that's how this particular thread is beginning to smell.

LOL yeah sure. LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:27am
So when a factory mom or waitress let's their 7 yo stay up all hours watchin inappropriate TV, you expect it??

No bias there!

Gee, that feeds into the whole idea that it's ok for working class people to put their kids in DC because they are probably better off there anyway. Everyone knows that with money comes wisdom...

Sheesh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 8:43am
But parenting styles are somewhat based on SES.There are always studies coming out supporting that,and the education of the mother is supposed to be the main determinant in how "well" a child is brought up.So,yes,I am surprised when I see well educated people who let their kids watch inaapropriate movies,and let them run wild.

It makes me wonder if these studies are biased toward higher income people,because IRL it sems like the "working class" enjoys their kids more,and does a better job.


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