Does SAH create demanding children?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does SAH create demanding children?
113
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:03am
I am reading The Mask of Motherhood and although I am not in total agreement of her theories and discussions, I thought they would be interesting in the context of this board.

One of her discussions focuses around the idea that now that mothers have more time/less household demands coupled with the parenting child-centered philosphies that the children have become more demanding of our time and attention.

Of course this discussion can take place regardless of employment status, but as the author seemed to be a SAHP, she clearly points to this as part of the reason we have "selfish brats".

SUS

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:30pm
ITA!

While research and studies have an important role in the world, no one, not one study can truly say what a good mom is, or what a well-behaved child is.

Statistics DO NOT define people!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:31pm
But why do mothers themselves buy into the responsibility for everything trap?? And hold other mothers accountable???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:32pm
I said my generation seems to do it in a general sense and I personally tend to think about woh/sah in terms of how it affects my children-pros and cons eitrer way.I don't think my grandma,for instance,thought"I really hope my kids don't feel neglected because I have to plow the field."She probably thought,"Can't wait until they are old enogh to help"!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:37pm
"My generation (and I tend to do this) thinks, "Well his mom worked or HOVERED or whatever she did...."

Do you think a mother's work status affects the way a child turns out?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:37pm
oops. Jennamumm, not computerdork13! So sorry, I use the other ID for the War debate. This new format has me going in circles, and at the moment I cannot switch IDs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:40pm
LOL! Doncha know, you're not supposed to care about your child's development and don't educate yourself for god's sake! I mean educate yourself, but you can't know more than the next guy, cause then you're just being "competitive" and uppity with your dang age, wealth and education! And you raise brats!

Oh I think it's crystal clear what's going on here.

Good luck.

Kam. Old, educated, making bank, no brats for kids. I must be an anomaly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:53pm
This is in response to petenjoey's mom. n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:21pm
Then by your own logic, you are indulgent, permissive and you must be raising some bratty kids. But, wait are you "too enlightened?" Or just enlightened enough for your age and tax bracket?

Maybe I should just read the studies you are apparently relying on. Can you tell me what they are?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:38pm
No, but I guess I might expect a PHD from Harvard to understand the importance of a safety helmut. I tend to think that someone capable of a doctoral thesis may have the language tools to be able to deal with a five year old who says "no". I don't really know what the possible limitations of the factory worker might be, because their job does not indicate it. They may be very literate and intelligent (I knew a guy who worked in a warehouse who was extrordinarily intelligent); or they may have a low IQ, may never have graduated from high school.....they may simply not grasp the importance of safety equipment, or they may truly be unable to muster the emotional and mental resources to deal with certain parenting issues.

Likewise, I expect someone who is a VP, with a MA, who actually sits on some educational committes in my town, to have a firmer grasp on developmental issues such as what constitutes age-appropriate TV viewing and healthy lifestyle habits (such as an appropriate bedtime), which do impact a childs school performance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:53pm
Why? I have a lot of experience with highly educated people with no commonsense.

They "intellectualize" everything, and don't know how to respond on a child's level. They would never just say,"Because I said so!" to a 5 year old - they want to reason with a child. If a child is articulate, they will ascribe great maturity to the child's actions. Doesn't make sense, but that's the way this highly educated and presumably intelligent group of people think. Idiot savants!

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