done explaining to people! lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
done explaining to people! lol
9
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:05pm

I was an admin. assist for many years. Then w/ baby #2 started my own home daycare. I did that for many many yrs. Now I am headed back to work outside the home. I really want to be a realtor, but our community can't support another one so I have decided to work w/ our school dist. so I can have holidays off w/ my kids. The job I chose (and luckily they chose me too lol) is not very high up on the "ladder". I want it this way. I have chosen a new path for employment on purpose! I don't want to work 70 hrs a week. I don't want to fetch coffee. I enjoy working w/ children. I don't want Overtime or opportunities for advancement. I want to be really good at my job and go home when I am done and not think about it further. I have great work ethic, don't get me wrong. But I am ready for someone else to be the boss. For my home to be JUST my home and soft place to fall.

I am so tired of everyone assumign I am not educated b/c of my jobs. I am tired of them askign me why I chose to work at the school I did. Why that position. don't I want more out of life? blah blah blah. UGH!

How do I politely tell them I am notn going to justify my personal career decisions to them? I have tried telling them yes, I have a new job it is such and such and I am so excited to start. Somehow when I try vague and excited it doesn't work. I think it is rude, or I am perceiving it rude or something.

Any advice? I have been judged for years b/c I quit corporate world for dc (yup, lost several friends over that one) and now I am going back to "work" and that bothers them too. How do you tell someone you don't givea crapola if they are happy w/ it or not!

Any advice is appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:08pm
Just smile, refuse to engage in any debates over your life choices and say,"Thanks. I'll give your advice the weight to which it is entitled."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:17pm

What PNJ said.

FWIW, I've done something similar. I have an MBA. I'm qualified for jobs with much more responsibility, authority, prestige adn salary than the one I have. But, I needed to balance my job abilities with my personal desires. I like to say that "I may be a peon, but I'm a very happy, stress-free peon." I took a big step backward professional in taking this job, but I took a leap forward personally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 8:53pm

what do you mean by taking a step backwards,professionally..did you have a job once where you had all the things you describe? my dad earned an mba,too but never wanted anything more than the teaching positions he had. i remember mom nudging him for a dean position he was qualified for that would have earned him more $$ and recognition,too. he was content in his place as teacher.

dad never felt he owed anybody justification for why he did what he did.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 9:05pm

I've had several jobs in which I had more authority, more responsibility, more prestige and more salary than I do now. My most recent job, at the Chamber of Commerce, could have led to great things. I had much more authority and responsibility there (although not more salary). But, I was stressed all the time. I went home thinking about work. I dreamt about work. I thought about work in the mornings before I got there. I loved what I did, but the job was taking over my entire life (if not by necessity, than by the nature of my obsessive personality). So, I took a step backward. I don't have a whole lot of authority or responsibility now; I'm one of many across campus that do similar to I do. But, I'm soooo much happier.

I like you dad, lol. I don't feel I have to justify my choice either; I did at first. But now? No way. I know I did the right thing by myself and my family; that's all that matters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 9:11pm
find different friends....nobody in my circle *judges* like that. unsolicited opinions/advice like that is cheap.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 9:16pm

"Because I want to."

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 8:04am

"Well, it is a good fit for us right now."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 10:58am

< I don't want to fetch coffee.>

Well, I work as an admin, I earn over 40K a year, and nobody had better dare think that I "fetch coffee". I have to be highly skilled to be earning at the level that I am. I'm sick of those who stereotype this field as "fetching coffee".

Most of the women who sneer at admins are actually earning less than admins!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 11:03am

Many people assume that admins aren't educated. I have a college degree, though. Many people also assume that admins earn like, $8 an hour or something. Well, I make over $40 K per year with benefits. I don't tell people my salary, I just let them keep thinking I'm impoverished, as most of them do.