Expectations on your children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Expectations on your children...
958
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:56pm
Wrt their working status/parenting as an adult?

If you SAH, will you encourage your daughter (or son) to do the same? How would you feel if they chose different from the path you have taken as a parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:00pm

aha .. key words "another woman who is strong"


That's what I've been saying. It takes a non-average woman to do those types of jobs.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:01pm

Yes, there IS a differentiation between a carpenter (who I have learned is more commonly the guys who frame, build out and install trusses and do heavy duty work), and someone who does FINISH work.


The FINISH work is less physically taxing but I don't know if it's less $$$ than regular carpentry.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:03pm

Its actualy funny that we are all talking about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:05pm
College is no certain path to broad horizons. For plenty of people it's a four year party with the annoyance of homework thrown in. When it comes to college (or anything), you get out what you put in. And the people who stand to get the most out of it and actually come away with broader horizens are those who WANT to go. And those people don't need to be bribed with a post-degree financial reward. They would do it anyway.

If somebody WOULDN'T go to college unless they were bribed into it, their horizons will not broaden. They will attend class only as much as they need to, do the homework as needed, and pay just enough attention to be able to regurgitate answers on the final. That isn't broadening at all. What IS broadening is being rivetted by a subject and paying attention because you want to know, not just because you want to pass. And if you have that attitude, a bribe isn't necessary.

So anybody who needs to be bribed in order to get them to go isn't going to be broadened because they just won't care. And somebody who DOES care doesn't need the bribe. So the whole "contingency" thing doesn't make sense because it it isn't needed for somebody who WANTS college and the tuition is wasted on somebody who doesn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:08pm
Well, no kidding that some people of any sex or physical capacity aren't suited for some *potential* aspects of some *potential* careers. That doesn't just apply to physical strength, but to everything about it. If you were going to be a carpenter but were afraid of heights, I don't imagine you'd go about bidding roof framing projects, but you'd be perfectly capable of furniture or cabinetrymaking. And if you're a person of average or less physical strength, you employ tools, unskilled helpers, or select your projects with that in mind. Carpenters are skilled workers. As with anything, physical strength may come in handy, but lack of an abnormal amount thereof doesn't preclude people from choosing the profession.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:09pm

Out of curiosity ... was dh's child from that marriage a beneficiary on any of the policies?


Our divorce decree states that each parent must carry life insurance equal to the amount of future CS obligation and that the children be the beneficiaries on such policies. IOW, if xh pays $400 a month for one kid, and said kid is 8, then xh must carry $48,000 ($400 x 12mo x 10yrs) in life insurance (there might even be some stipulations in there acounting for present/future value - dunno wasn't an issue for us). Therefore, the child is guaranteed a level of support for the remainder of his childhood that the xh would have contributed had he remained living.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:11pm
Ever watch Seventh Heaven? The mom on that show is like wonder-whiz-carpenter-plumber-handyman .. won't let the husband touch a hammer.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:11pm
I've never said carpentry per se (that's CLW's argument). My argument has been about jobs that require a great degree of physical strength, period. Yes, perhaps some jobs (like master carpentry) can be done in part by equipment or in teams, but not all physically demanding jobs can. That's my point. Sorry if I was unclear.

You mentioned bouncers, which is a job that, by it's nature, requires a great degree of physical strength to perform. It is more likely that a man can perform this job *better* than a woman because of that physical strength requirement.

There was an article in our local paper a few weeks ago regarding jobs with few or no women. All of them involve tough physical labor. That is the primary reason that there ARE few or no women in these occupations.

Here's a snippet:

>>JOBS WITH FEW OR NO WOMEN

Occupations in Washington state with the lowest percentage of female workers, according to the 2000 Census. List includes total work force and number of female workers.

Occupation Jobs Women

Petroleum, mining, geological engineers 180 0

Rail-track laying, maintenance operators 268 0

Extraction workers 15 0

Riggers 563 0

Tire builders 59 0

Subway, streetcar, rail transport 89 0

Small engine mechanics 1,053 4

Earth drillers 581 4

Elevator installers and repair 516 4

Auto glass installers, repair 487 4

<<

Why is it difficult to admit that women are limited when it comes to fields that require physical labor? Do you think that by saying so that that is in essence saying women are "inferior?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:13pm
You do realize that carpenters are not likely to be forced at gunpoint into the barnraising business, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:14pm
I'm not trying to control my daughter's behaviour. What behaviour would I be controlling...she wants the skateboard either way. I am controlling her access to my disposable income. She gets access when I decide its a worthwhile destination for my money. She will value the board whether its just an image tool, or whether she actually rides it. Too bad, I won't, and its my money.

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