Expectations on your children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Expectations on your children...
958
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:56pm
Wrt their working status/parenting as an adult?

If you SAH, will you encourage your daughter (or son) to do the same? How would you feel if they chose different from the path you have taken as a parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 3:56pm
Oh absolutely! There is never any point to tell an alcoholic not to drink. The alcoholic must come to that conclusion on his own. The lump sum would have killed him b/c he would have drank himself to death. As it was, he could only drink til the money ran out which would be followed by a period of sobriety. His decision to stop drinking came later and had nothing to do with the money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 4:30pm
:::snort:::: Your secret is safe with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 6:48pm
My opinions are not based solely on MY personal experience. I very much value my university education. It has served me well in many ways. My horizons have broadened however, since I left university. I KNOW that university did not teach me one iota about how to manage money - which is truly what this debate is all about. Many university grads go on to make hoards of cash, but have no clue how to hold on to it or make it grow. Most people work their a$$es off all their life and are a slave to their employer. THAT is what universities turn out - employees. I am saying that there are other ways to independence that are far more effective. University is not a bad thing, but alone it is not good enough for my kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 7:27pm
Thanks for the advice, but I think I'll disregard it since it is totally not applicable. I am not teaching my 4 year old that the sky is the limit as you put it. I am teaching her that she can strive for any goal that she believes is worthy of her effort. At 4, yes, she thinks she wants to be a ballerina. I can well imagine that at 5 she may turn her aspirations toward being a teacher - after she experiences kindergarten. I know at 3 her greatest desire was to be a princess. I hope she continues to use her imagination and let reality occur later in her life. Again though, thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 9:10pm
Do you follow basketball at all? I don't really but dh does and so it's often on TV. One day I saw a VERY short man and was stunned. He was. So. Short. DH set me straight on what a great basketball player he is and how he uses his shortness to manaeuver between the other players. Short. And a pro-basketball player. More recently I saw a picture in a magazine of a man-ballerina (what is the proper word?) with only one leg.

So if there can be short pro-basketball players and one legged ballerinas...your dd can dare to dream even if it's just a dream-du-jour.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 06-08-2004 - 10:50pm

I believe the advancement she was referring to is within the military, not necessarily after one leaves the service.


Although additional education

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 6:39am
Dependancy is dependancy. If Bob and Mary grow up still being comfortable with it, they'd probably accept it anywhere they can find it. Bob, things being the way they are, is sort of screwed - he'll probably not find it and have to be come self sufficient. Mary has a better chance of never having to do that. If Mom and Dad offered to pay their ways through life...they'd probably accept that as readily as the spousal kind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 7:06am
You should really take my advice...your perspective is scary, and I quote...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 7:11am
University does not turn out *employees*. The cessation of parental funding does that. And its a trade education, or a community college education, which is specifically job skills training of very limitted scope and applicability, designed to turn out *employees* to fill very specific needs.

I don't know anyone who is a slave to their employer, though. Do you have an actual job? If not - why not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 11:49am
Exactly! Who in their right mind would ever interfere with a 4 year old's dreams? I don't care what OP123 and others like her think - being realistic is certainly not a requirement at 4 years of age. IMO, it is being *realistic* that robs children of their imagination and wonder and limits them later in life. I firmly believe that where there is a will there is a way. If the desire is strong enough anyone can accomplish whatever they desire.

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