Expectations on your children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Expectations on your children...
958
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:56pm
Wrt their working status/parenting as an adult?

If you SAH, will you encourage your daughter (or son) to do the same? How would you feel if they chose different from the path you have taken as a parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:20am
Anyones business can fail. Including her brother's. Anyone can turf an employee, including a brother. If only family will hire one, than one isn't employable in any meaningful way. Family-the-employer doesn't get a higher employer-value rating than any other one. Her universe of possible employers is so incredibly limitted, and her existing skill set so unproven in any arena but the hobby one, that she is virtually incapable of supporting herself. Generally, by the time one can limit employer to a family business, and have that represent anything like a close approximation to generally "employable", the business is so large that the family is already independantly wealthy...and that is a whole nother ball game...where one simply will not, and does not, need to work support oneself. If ones husband is working at that point...its purely by choice. She is living in a dream world and trying very hard to pretend her situation is something its not. She's not a wealthy heiress. She's not even like her neice - someone who has put herself in a position to be able to *choose* to work for family - or not. The only realistic option she has to continue to put food on her table is the continued good will of her family to put it there for her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:24am
Your husband made your dreams come true for you. If you made your dreams come true (same life you have now, without need for a job for yourself ) you'd have done it by earning your first millions pretty darn young and your poor husband wouldn't *have* to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:29am
I guess you have a problem with marrying a man for love & being able to do what you want in life? I don't.

My husband would work if we were millionaires. He loves his work.

If I went to work tomorrow that money, per dh's words, would never go for house expenses, utility bills, our own living expenses. It would go in a bank account for us to play on as in trips to Europe, furniture, blowing it going out for a $300 ticket meal if we wanted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:32am
My brother wouldn't offer me the job if I wasn't qualified and as qualified as any other candidate he can hire through the employment agency he uses who finds qualified people to meet the guidelines. He would just love for me to work for him. Is that really hard for you to comprehend? Guess so, huh?

No. I could use the same bookkeeping skills to go out to the city an hour away and work for someone I've never met. I also choose not to do that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:08am
Marrying a man for love is what you can truly, honestly do, only after you have established your ability to support your own self in a manner which suits you. Otherwise, you are going to have to factor in his earning potential and play that off against love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:09am
Sorry. I thought you were a sahw since you married at 18 or something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:11am
So how many years experience do you have as bookeeper for a chain of restaurants?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:18am
You could merely have decided not to go to college. But you refused to go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 8:27am
I don't think anyone marries wisely without factoring in things other than love. The potential spouse's attitudes and potential WRT work is a big thing, regardless of whether one can (and is willing) to support themself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 9:10am
I agree, you wouldn't be dependent upon your brother.

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