Expectations on your children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Expectations on your children...
958
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:56pm
Wrt their working status/parenting as an adult?

If you SAH, will you encourage your daughter (or son) to do the same? How would you feel if they chose different from the path you have taken as a parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:10am
How did I know you'd think that someone can't really be someone's equal without a demonstrated ability to earn $? I'm sure you are also able to predict by now that I will respond that not everyone sees that as a big factor, and that that is OK as long as the couple finds a way of handling it.

(Not commenting on her marriage at all, haven't read many of her posts.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:13am
Just shocked to hear that you feel that way, LOL.

I take it one of your criteria for marrying was that your spouse be interested in employment and capable of doing so profitably. Guess you and FSW have something in common, then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:16am
I believe actually, the individual in question was a talented and accomplished drummer BEFORE he became handicapped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:22am
I read the wealthy barber ages ago. Now at the risk of treading on very thin social ice...wasn't it you whose husband left insurance money so you could afford to continue to sah? Or was that someone else.

But ... if it was you ... given that you are very wealthy ... I guess that insurance money wasn't really necessary, then, in order for you to continue to sah? Were you hiding it from your husband?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:25am
Um no, he was BORN with no arms.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:32am
It's fundamentally different if you're looking to your spouse to provide 100% of the household income vs. 50%.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:33am
Ok then. He's using the drum set developped by the guy who was an actual talented and accomplished drummer, who became handicapped after the fact, and then redefined the idea of drum (electronic synthesis, foot pedal controlled) in order to keep going. So, in fact, the luck of technological advancement made his dream possible...not the WILL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:33am
Very thin ice indeed. I hid nothing from my husband. We invested in insurance products and I did not need that insurance money to SAH. Truth be told, he didn't realize how much insurance we already had. When you invest in insurance products your premiums and your investment returns are paid out. He did take out a second policy that I was not aware of so I guess he was hiding something from me, although I don't think it was a big secret. I do believe that had he understood what kind of insurance money was already there, he wouldn't have taken out the second policy. The big secret that he hid from me was how much he desired that I SAH. My impression is that he knew that I am one to have a great need for financial security and he wanted to ensure that I would not have to worry about working. His taking out another policy was for his peace of mind.

Edited to add:

BTW, what did you think of the Wealthy Barber? Rich Dad illustrates different concepts.


Edited 6/10/2004 11:38 am ET ET by it_is_me_again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:35am
No dear. He uses his feet and plays traditional drums - drumsticks and all. He also uses his feet to play the piano - not a piano adapted to his disability - just a plain ole ordinary piano.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:46am
A good rule to follow if you don't want to get into a particular discussion with a particular person, is not to ask questions of that particular person on that particular subject.

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