Expectations on your children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Expectations on your children...
958
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:56pm
Wrt their working status/parenting as an adult?

If you SAH, will you encourage your daughter (or son) to do the same? How would you feel if they chose different from the path you have taken as a parent?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:08pm
No, it means he had enough to offer without having to offer much in the way of discernable earning potential. Risk capital...if the earning potential risk payed off...great...if not...no big deal. It means, whether the earning potential grows, shrinks or disappears, its no big deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:11pm
I don't believe that she HAS to be dependent on her family. I am quite confident, based on my REAL life experience as well, that she can very easily start her own business that would be quite profitable. She and her family are very clearly entrepreneurs. Perhaps those that you know are not. She IS doing some of those things that could produce profits for her only she is CHOOSING to do them for free. There is more than one way to support one's self. Why do you THINK that her experience, be it working for her husband or brother or volunteering anywhere else does not benefit her? Of course all that experience *counts* in the big bad world. BTW, the world is only as big and bad as you make it. Some people make their own opportunities - others wait for them to come. I am not surprised with your negative view on what it takes that you have had to struggle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:16pm
You assume wrong of course, about the connection between talent and will. Perhaps your children are still very young, and you are still one of those parents who hasn't really had any exposure to "your children out in the world with their abilities amongst other kids and their abilities".

but where there is a will, there is a way. Go find a serious athletic or artistic training facility of any desicription, and hang around, talk to some people, get some numbers that can relate will and way for you. But psssst. The Olympic teams aren't chosen according to *will*. And the ballet schools don't accept that way either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:16pm
>>IMO she has amply proven that in spite of not having a college education, she would be capable of supporting herself. It matters not if she works for her father, her brother, her sister, starts her own business, or waits tables. She is saying that should her circumstances change, she can and will provide financially for her family - WITHOUT the benefit of a higher education. It is the lack of a college education that she is trying to prove as not hindering her capacity to earn a living.<<

Actually, this particular thread was NOT about a lack of college education (nowhere was this mentioned). It was about taking care of oneself. FSW pointed out numerous examples of *how* she could take care of herself, and all but two involved working for a family member or accepting financial support from a family member. IMO, it is not supporting oneself if you have to rely on the generosity of others to provide you with a job or money.

So yes, she can provide financially for her children without the benefit of a higher education. But she cannot provide for them without some assistance from her family. If she had a higher education or work experience, this would probably not be the case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:18pm
Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead had very stubby fingers which- like the drummer- should have caused him to steer clear of the guitar. Yet...

The worl;d is FULL of examples that disprove OP123's point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:20pm
That's what she said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:21pm

LOL. THat is TOOO funny.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:22pm
Um, actually, I have raised one child into adulthood - so certainly did see her out in the world with her abilities against others. I have also fostered numerous children and adopted one. I'd venture to say that my parenting experience is most certainly greater than yours. And what was that you said about talent and will? What connection did I claim there was? Oh that's right - none. What I actually said was that I had NOT said that the armless drummer had no musical talent. Didn't connect his talent to his will at all. I think it is quite reasonable to assume however that as a child develops and begins to recognize his/her apptitudes and strengths/gifts, most will aspire to a goal that is in fact within their interests which is most often based on abilities and apptitude.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:24pm
We live by this rule! Our mtg will be paid in full in a few short years. We don't owe for anything other than it & the utilities.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:27pm
Apparently it is a big issue with you of a wife being a sahw & yes, depending on her dh for the sole monetary support of the family.

Naturally, dh & I don't have those issues.

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