Extra Money and Extra Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Extra Money and Extra Time
452
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 2:31pm
A couple of boards back I asked, and cobaltblue2002 answered, this. I'd like input from everyone.

Why do some people think WOHMs are greedy and materialistic if the WOHMS want to work or work FT, partly to have a financial cushion (I know this does not apply to all WOHMS' financial situations), but the same people think nothing of SAHMs staying home, partly because the SAHMs like more time at home, with children, with hobbies, etc. than other people?

In other words, is more or "extra" time an honorable reason to SAH, but working to earn more than the basic necessities somehow not honorable?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 11:43am
I guess I view a job as a valuable thing, much like a relationship. If it requires a little tolerance and putting up with things, I do it. Maybe it's because I work with lawyers, who are apparently much worse managers than the average professional, but my tolerance for inferior bosses is pretty high. If you were deeply committed to working, and you made 3 or 4 times what you currently do now, I bet it would take a lot more for you to start looking for a new job. But you said that having a six figure job is not something you want in order to have it all, so your standards and mine are bound to be different.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 12:19pm
I agree, with some clarification. I wasn't talking about something that requried a little tolerance. I was talking about the price being too high. Just like a relationship, if what you're getting out of it isn't even close to what you're putting in, its not a healthy relationship. If a relationship forced your self-worth to decrease; if the other partner in the relationship treated you poorly; if the relationship was one that was heavily unbalanced, it would be unhealthy.

And I agree the salary does make a difference. But it would take more than 3-4 times what I'm making now to make it worth it for me to put up with a situation like I was describing. I've been there, and although my salary in both of those jobs was small, I know without a doubt, I woudln't have stayed in either of those jobs if they'd tripled my pay.

But its not a matter of commitmene to working. I can be just as committed to working and still want to walk if I'm not treated the way I think I should be, as someone who puts up with crap all day. Its not a level of commitment; its a level of choice.

I think your last line hit the nail on the head. I don't want to work in that environment because its not worth it to me (especially mentally). But that doesn't make you wrong to survive in that environment. It doesnt' mean I think you're stupid or crazy; just that your goals and objectives are different than mine, as are your options and standards.

Hollie

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