Facebook Etiquette Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Facebook Etiquette Debate
47
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 8:10am
Issue: Mom throws a birthday party for her 8 year old son that involves ten kids ages 7 to 10. Takes photos and puts two dozen of them up on fb for friends and relatives to see. Kids are not tagged or ID'd in any way other than as friends of the birthday boy. Photos are set to "friends only." Mom of one of the boys, who is not a fb user, throws a fit and says she never consented to have her son's photo on fb and demands they be taken down. This kid is in about half the photos. WWYD?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 11:15am
I understand the mom's concern (and your dh's) too. Although the mom probably overreacted, I wouldn't post pictures without the mom's consent either. Even if pictures are only available to "friends" of the poster, many people have hundreds of "friends," some of whom they don't know irl. Unfortunately, once kids are old enough to get their own FB pages, this mom won't have much control over pictures of her kid being posted by other kids, even if she doesn't allow her own child on FB.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 12:02pm
I know that with Girl Scouts and sometimes school things, there is a blurb on the permission slips about consenting to pictures being used for publicity. Now whether that covers a troop leader who posts pictures from a camp out on her FB page (as opposed to the GS Council using photos from an event in promotional material) I don't know.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 12:07pm
One common practice I see is that the poster will tag the parent (if the parent has a FB page) in the pic, thus giving that parent the opportunity to remove the tag or notify the poster that they want it taken down.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:09pm

I've seen several notifications like that - from my kids' school, camps they've gone to, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:19pm

It's definitely something that kids should be educated about, among many other things, that they just don't realize they should be concerned about.

One thing my husband's company did for a client was to do a profile for one of the executive's college age children (she was over 21).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:29pm

I've seen that too, but it only helps if the parent of each child is actually on FB and is friends with you!

I think people have gotten all too comfortable with having their personal lives be very public and don't realize that not everyone feels that way.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 2:57pm
We had a guy who applied for a job with us and had pictures on his (public) FB page of him drinking, partying, etc. Needless to say, he didn't get the job. I find kids to be pretty naive about that kind of stuff, even when warned. My younger dd is 12, so she's too young for FB, and as far as I know, she has only one underage friend who has a page. I sure hope it's not public--I can hardly believe parents would be that dumb. I didn't let my older dd get FB until she was 14. She spent a lot of time on it the first month and lost interest, which is just as well as far as I'm concerned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 3:01pm

You can do custom privacy settings on fb so only the friends you name can see certain albums.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 5:12pm

i don't know, what harm was done?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 09-23-2011 - 5:19pm
i just thought of something... i am fb friends with our R/E director at church. for the last few months i've been thinking about creating a group/page for our church but i hesitate doing that unless i have her permission. technically, i don't need her permission but i think it would be weird to place a group out there and just assume she'd like it or agree to it. ...i was thinking the same thing about forming a group/page for our school PTA. but i wont' jsut do that without knowing how others felt about that first, too.