Family Time Revisited

Avatar for mjdphd
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Family Time Revisited
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Tue, 06-03-2003 - 10:41am
The issue of family time has been running through several threads here. In one thread, many people were adamant about kids not having too many activities in that it interferes with family time. In another, talking about shift work, some posters insist that they still have plenty of family time even though the parents work opposite shifts and don't see each other as much as a traditional family. I am wondering what people consider family time, how much do you expect, how much do you actually get, how much is enough, do you plan it or let it happen, and how does it change as the children get older. Just curious.

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 10:49am
In our family, we don't have many "requirements" for family time.. however, we all have dinner together every night, and do something together on the weekend. ds is only 3 though, I'm sure the weekend activity will change ;) Dinner together will always be a requirement though. First of all, I don't do restaurant at home, and second, if we can't manage to all have dinner at the same time, it means we have too much going on.

Edited to correct ds' age from 32. ;)


Edited 6/3/2003 11:07:45 AM ET by charlesmama

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 10:56am
At 3 and 1, our family times are just starting to evolve. We take long walks together, play games, do "yard work," run errands, do art work, and of course read a lot of books. At their ages, the boys' every interaction with us is probably a learning experience! We only eat together as a family occasionally, but those times will become more frequent as the boys can wait longer to eat.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 10:57am
Can your ds wait until your DH comes home to eat dinner? My boys need to eat by 6 and DH gets home about 6:30 or 6:45, most of the time. Last night he was home by 6:15 and we did eat together :)

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:06am
If I know my dh is going to be home later than normal (which is 5:30) I give him a larger snack. He's happier eating dinner with daddy, and the very few times we have started without him (when he had to stay out past 9 or later) he asks where daddy is the whole time.. LOL
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:10am
Well...anytime I'm not away at work is family time for me & dh because right now, our family is he, I, & our dog.

I'm planning on leaving my current job to work with dh at home at some point in the future...so once children arrive, all the time is family time! :)

-io

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:26am
So sweet! You are so lucky that your DH is home that early. Mine doesn't even start until 9 am, and with the commutes around here, and working until 5:30 or 6, we just can't wait for him every night.

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:55am
It is a priority for us, and I dont see it changing too much over time. My oldest is 12 now, and she actually pushes it more than anyone,lol!

A basic breakdown of our daily life-dh (this summer) is working 530a-4p Sunday-Wednesday. He has thu/fri/sat off. I work 5p-11p on Fri/Sat nights (and I occasionally work an extra evening if they need me). We eat dinner as a family 5 nights a week, for the most part (even when dd had soccer last year, we just planned dinner around it, either before she went or right after). The kids and I are together all day, we eat breakfast and lunch together, and I try to plan some kind of fun activity for the 3 of us at least a couple times a week. On dh's days off, we either go camping, go for a hike, go out together somewhere (movies, lunch, dinner, whatever), or some other activity that we all do together. We also do stuff with extended family a lot-my dad is over at least a few times a week, my youngest brother at least once a week, and my mom at least a few times a month.

I think we get plenty of time together. We dont make a huge concentrated effort to find it, because we have arranged our lives so that the time is there. Dh and I both feel that childhood is very fleeting. When I realize that in 6 short years my dd will be going off to college, it only makes me want to spend MORE time with her. It just seems like you blink and they are grown, and dh and I want to spend as much time as we can with them. But we dont see ourselves as making some extra effort towards it, because we truly enjoy our kids company and automatically plan things that we can all do together. Dd might start to go off more with friends as she gets older, but she really LIKES family time so I dont see her becoming resentful about it. I have some workers in my summer business who are older teens (17-19) and I've actually asked them lots of questions about their pov, growing up as young women. They all said that even when they complained about *having* to spend time with their family, they look back on those times very fondly now and appreciate that their parents *made* them be there. So I think we will be okay :o)

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:56am
My idea of "family time" is any time that DH or I are not at work, when we're with our kids, either at home or elsewhere, even when they're participating in sporting events. I don't believe "family time" has to be only time when you're interacting. It can be when we're just doing things around the house or when DH is coaching the boys' LL team while I'm a spectator. It can be when we're taking a bike ride together as a family, or when DH and I are relaxing on the porch while the kids run around playing.
Avatar for biancamami
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 12:12pm
Family time for us is when all three of us spend time together. We don't set aside time specifically but we always spend time every weeknight and weekends.

My child is still a toddler so I know things will change when she goes to school. For now, I am very satisfied with all the time we spend together on weekends and work nights.

Ana
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 12:25pm
I don't know that I would limit activities for "family time".I might limit them if the child was becoming overtired, or stressed out, or if the activity was just way to inconvenient for what its value was.I also would not go into hock childrens activities,either,so I would adjust for that( I know,bad mom)).

We have fallen into having lunch out every Sat.and we do something fun over the weekend, too.We see a lot of our kids.Telling kids they can't take swimming because we all need to sit in the living room togetehr for family time seems a little weird to me, but what do I know? My kids like doing stuff and they prefer other kids to play with,so apparently we are odd.I am all for stable families,etc. but lately FAMILY TIME has seemed a little anti- social and smug to me-we are part of a larger community and need imo to participate in it.

I agree with some of what Opinion said.I have had the same problems w/ kids not being home to play with,or a lot of parents making their kids stay home after school and carefully rationing playtime.I have been pretty fed up with over -parenitng lately, and am pretty close to woh just so my kids will have consistent playmates at dc / aftercare.

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