Fathers have a choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fathers have a choice
903
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 1:45pm

I was flipping through the channels this morning when I came across one of those baby shows. I think it was called Bringing home Baby or something like that. Anyway, the part that caught my attention was where they were changing the baby (actually she was doing the changing. He was just standing and watching) She then made the comment that he "doesn't do diapers". She then goes on to say her dad didn't either and try to come up with some reasons why some dad's don't do it and how they can't handle it, blah, blah, blah. The new dad then piped in that he couldn't stand the smell and he just doesn't do them. She then says...some dads do and some dads don't.

So I sat there and thought.....Why does dad get a *choice* in it at all? Why do they get to *opt out* of the diaper changing duties? What if the mom decided she couldn't stand the smell as well? Would the child then stay in a dirty diaper for the next two years until he is potty trained or until one of them broke own and changed the poor child? Why would a mom think that changing a diaper was an opional assignment for the dad?

Anyway....it's not really sah/woh. But I thought it a good debate topic.....Why do dads get the choice to *opt out* of parenting duties? And why would moms let them do it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 3:22pm

Do you really want me to cut and paste all that again? It is very time consuming. I have posted it more times than I can count where you are incorrect. You weren't clear on what I said even though what I said was clear. Either you didn't read the entire post about my cleaning or you forgot what I said. You said you get then go on to say ***I have read your posts completely, you answered that yes you do really do everything and don't ask for help*** When you say that it leads me to believe you don't get it, because I didn't say that. Then you proceed to tell me that I read too much into clear and concise words yet you are confused when I say that

***Yes I do. The only thing I don't do is schedule my DH things. i.e. car repairs, doctor appt. He does do the dishes most of the time and he takes out the trash everyday. Other than that I do it. My children are 4 and 7. I don't clean their rooms. I vacuum them and dust but they clean up their things. I also change their sheets.***

I think that is pretty clear and concise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 3:30pm
When they call people the Axis of Evil it includes the rulers of these countries. Those that support and aid these terrorists. He is right...if you aren't with us you are againest us. Doesn't mean that we will as a country come after you, just that if you can't support our mission then you aren't on our side. Terrorism on this planet has gone on way too long. It was tolerated way longer than it ever should have been. Republicans and democrats alike. The time had come to address this issue. Look at Israel. Lebanon just wouldn't let up, then when Israel started to fight back and really started to pound Lebanon now they want a cease fire, which is a crock. The Koran states clearly Lying to the enemy is not a lie when it is used in war to defeat the enemy in the eyes of Allah. How twisted is that? Bottom line. Our economic policies, our weapons, our battles, anything and everything you can think of is not important to them. They don't care. They HATE US because of our way of life. They will not think twice of killing you or your family simplying because you are an American before or after this war. Having any sympathy for the enemy is wrong. No matter what we do, no matter what we say....they will continue to try to kill us because we are Americans.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:21pm
Lol....
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:23pm

How will exposing my children to those atrocities help the children who are having bombs dropped on them?

And you'd better believe that I have a problem with exposing children in other countries to these atrocities. Your *we* doesn't include me.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:28pm
Then why haven't you stopped the war?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:30pm
I don't see any hypocrisy in being anti-war and in shielding my own kids from violent images of the war I do not support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:39pm
Are you anti war at all cost? Or just anti this war?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 5:17pm
There are lots and lots of Muslims who are against Al Queda and against religious fundamentalism in general. I don't hold them responsible for one single act of terrorism. The ability to speak up about something very rarely equals the ability to make it stop happening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 5:25pm
I do understand this. But I think it's a misplaced sense of responsibility. For one thing, why are you responsinble for the actions of a representative you actively tried to prevent being elected? You are responsible for his/her actions even though you campaigned for his opposition? Why? Also, elected representatives are not automatons that must literally do what the elctorate tells them to. They can say what they want during campaign season in order to get elected. Once in office, they can do whatever they want within the limits of the Constiution. If they don't follow through on campaign promises- or take political stands they explicitly promised not to take- the electorate has no recourse beyond refusing to vote for them in the next election. Which is meaningless anyway if they have served as many terms as allowed and thus really don't have to answer to the elctorate at all- as is the case with Bush.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 5:26pm

I have said I get it.

PumpkinAngel

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