Fathers have a choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fathers have a choice
903
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 1:45pm

I was flipping through the channels this morning when I came across one of those baby shows. I think it was called Bringing home Baby or something like that. Anyway, the part that caught my attention was where they were changing the baby (actually she was doing the changing. He was just standing and watching) She then made the comment that he "doesn't do diapers". She then goes on to say her dad didn't either and try to come up with some reasons why some dad's don't do it and how they can't handle it, blah, blah, blah. The new dad then piped in that he couldn't stand the smell and he just doesn't do them. She then says...some dads do and some dads don't.

So I sat there and thought.....Why does dad get a *choice* in it at all? Why do they get to *opt out* of the diaper changing duties? What if the mom decided she couldn't stand the smell as well? Would the child then stay in a dirty diaper for the next two years until he is potty trained or until one of them broke own and changed the poor child? Why would a mom think that changing a diaper was an opional assignment for the dad?

Anyway....it's not really sah/woh. But I thought it a good debate topic.....Why do dads get the choice to *opt out* of parenting duties? And why would moms let them do it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 3:26pm
try being an atheist in the US.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 3:38pm

<< Not to mention that isn't prejudice, that is plain and simple fear.>>

I don't understand what you are saying. Are you saying those passengers weren't being prejudiced, that they were instead being fearful? If so, what to you is the difference?

Yes, I believe we are viewed by Iraqis as occupiers/invaders of Iraq. Here is a link to a poll done in Iraq. I found it quite interesting that 71% of Iraqis don't view us as *liberators* but as *occupiers*.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2004-04-28-poll-cover_x.htm

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 3:59pm

I would love to know how someone would know that someone is a. from the Middle East, and b. how one would know that someone is Muslim. Other than a female wearing the garb I really don't know how you can tell someone is religion. Not to mention that isn't prejudice, that is plain and simple fear.


It is very easy to tell who is middle eastern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:07pm

<>

If there was an easy solution, this war wouldn't be happening. However, I do come from the popular majority here in America, that thinks our current administration is NOT doing a good job finding a solution.

http://www.rasmussenreports.com/Bush_Job_Approval.htm

I fear that any diplomatic talks that could of possibly reached a *solution*, are now long gone. There is so much hatred for America now, that who knows if talks could ever be restored. However, I don't think a war in Iraq is the solution either. Do you really believe this war will stop all future terrorist?

Julia

Julia

Proud Mommy of Macey and Reece

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:20pm

"My own dang president doesn't consider me a "real American"."

Considering the current administration, I would take that as a compliment,lol.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:20pm
When did Bush say that atheist aren't real Americans. I must say I don't recall that one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:27pm

You don't know the difference between being fearful and prejudice? You still didn't answer my question how these passengers knew these people were from the Middle East or Muslims.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2004-04-28-gallup-iraq-findings.htm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:29pm
I can honestly say I can't tell the difference between someone that is FROM the Middle East or someone that is an American with parents that are Middle Easterner. Not to mention that Eqyptians look remarkably similar to Middle Easterners.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:30pm

In the most basic sense, the best way to stop the spread of fanaticism is to allow people opportunity. Fanaticism attracts the hungry, without hope, who have been abused or oppressed and have no other options.

Let's take an easy example--the gaza strip. It is about 5-10 miles wide and 25 miles long. Three sides are surroudned by barbed wire and the fourth is a coast line, with a militarily controlled coast. There are over 1,000,000 people living inside, in concrete UN style refugee housing. There are no universities, no industries, no technology centers, no real options for making a life for onseself, or seeking education, or even getting out to make a life for oneself elsewhere.

The people who live there fled there as refugees in 1967 and the subsequent years. They've never been allowed to leave. And they have nowhere to go. It is basically an open-air prison. And their prison guards abuse them on a regular basis.

You want to stop the spread of fanaticism and groups like Hammas from taking hold there. Here's what you have to do: allow the people there a future for themselves and their children. They need education. They need jobs. They need decent food. They need access to the 21st century. They need the freedom to leave. They need to be treated with dignity and respect, as human beings. Blowing yourself up loses its appeal when you are giving up something worthwhile. If all you are giving up is a life of hunger, struggle, desperation and hopelessness, then strapping on a bomb and taking out one of your oppressors with you doesn't seem like such a bad alternative to a life of the misery you see around you, and have seen since your birth.

The US's resolve to "bomb them into submission" and "kill them until they decide to like us and be nice" is downright stupid.

They don't hate us becasue we are free. They hate us because our political policies have directly led to their continued oppression and continued hopelessness. Our weapons are killing them.

You can take this view and apply it to most other areas that are ripe for the growth of fundamentalism. And no matter what, killing people doesn't make the surviors like you and "act nice" to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 4:32pm

If you fear someone for no reason other than becasue of their ethnic background or religion, that is prejudice.

How is that a hard question.

edited to add: Sicne when is an Egyptian not a Middle Easterner? What are you defining as Middle East anyway, if Egypt doesn't count?




Edited 8/3/2006 4:41 pm ET by goddess_lonestarmom

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