Fathers have a choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fathers have a choice
903
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 1:45pm

I was flipping through the channels this morning when I came across one of those baby shows. I think it was called Bringing home Baby or something like that. Anyway, the part that caught my attention was where they were changing the baby (actually she was doing the changing. He was just standing and watching) She then made the comment that he "doesn't do diapers". She then goes on to say her dad didn't either and try to come up with some reasons why some dad's don't do it and how they can't handle it, blah, blah, blah. The new dad then piped in that he couldn't stand the smell and he just doesn't do them. She then says...some dads do and some dads don't.

So I sat there and thought.....Why does dad get a *choice* in it at all? Why do they get to *opt out* of the diaper changing duties? What if the mom decided she couldn't stand the smell as well? Would the child then stay in a dirty diaper for the next two years until he is potty trained or until one of them broke own and changed the poor child? Why would a mom think that changing a diaper was an opional assignment for the dad?

Anyway....it's not really sah/woh. But I thought it a good debate topic.....Why do dads get the choice to *opt out* of parenting duties? And why would moms let them do it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:34am

<<>

So sorry...I didn't realize missing a comma was such a huge confusion. Iraqi's, and Afghani's.

<<>>

No I didn't. Instead of writing Iraqi's, Afghani's all the time I was using the term Middle Easterner's. Again the question has been skirted. How can one tell who is Muslim, who is an Iraqi, who is an Afghani, and who is an Eqyptian? Is that a little clearer?

I am not sure where you got tall from but ok. I said large man. So you wouldn't be afraid of let's say a large man walking behind you alone in an alley? No one around?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:36am
Like I have already stated, I get the women wearing the robes. However I have yet to see a Muslim man walking around with a prayer cap on, nor do I see them walking around with prayer beads. But ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:39am

You weren't missing a comma. There is no need to have a comma at all right there. You had two extra appostrophes and a missing conjunction. As such, I had no diea what you were trying to say.

But thank you for stating that in this context, when you say Middle Eatserner, you really meant only Iraqi and Afghan. Since Afghanistan is not typically even considered a part of the Middle East, I had no idea you meant that.

Why am I in an alley in the first place? We don't even have alleys where I live, so I'm having a hard time picturing it.

I'm not usually afraid of strangers, male or female, large or small, unless they threaten me in some way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:40am

I lived in the Middle Esat for ten years. I notice sublte things like a bead in a pocket where many people would never see that.

But I can't speak for how others would know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:46am
I read it. Interesting he thought that way. I disagree with him. Even though I am a christian and I believe God loves everyone and I believe God wants me to love everyone, atheism is a hard thing for me to understand. But then again it isn't for me to understand. I think he was out of line saying that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:47am
That is my point. You were in the Middle East. Not in an airport in the United States.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:54am
inside information, what are you talking about? i can look around me and live in the world and see what harm has been done to the country i love by the current administration. you certainly dont have to agree but i and millions of others believe that our country and the world is a much worse place because of this administration
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:54am

No, I mean here in the US, I can often spot a sublty about someone that people unfamiliar with the Middle East don't see. I can spot it, because I lived there.

Honestly, I suspect that if a traveler hears someone speaking arabic or sees someone who looks to have arabic features, they would probably just assume the person is arab/muslim/middle eastern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:56am
you might also want to look at the reasons behind some of those votes - alot of them were based on lies as we found out later - imagine that
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:57am

Thanks for saying that.

I am tyoically a pretty understanding sort. Just won up to what you did wrong,a nd I'll give anyone a pass on saying something that was out of line. But when he was given the chance to take it back/aplogize/acknowledge it came out the wrong way or whatever, he didn't. For a politician, that's pretty surprising.

I think give GHW Bush's statements and given GW Bush's hard core religious pandering, many of us assume that GW feels the same way, whetehr he's come directly out and said it or not. GW has said that he's more of a religious hardliner than were his parents.

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