First child, Can't SAH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
First child, Can't SAH?
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 11:55am


I'm expecting my first child. In my perfect little world, I had always wanted to be a SAHM. We had not planned on having children for three more years, until my husband was done with grad school.

BUT, I'm pregnant now. We have three more years where he will only be earning a graduate stipend, which is simply not enough to live on.

I am a teacher at a community college. I haven't told my boss yet, but I think she may be willing to work with me with my schedule. It's just... I'm feeling this guilt that I can't stay at home all the time. I'm trying to work out a system in my mind where we would only need to hire someone to be with our child, other than us, for three hours in the middle of the day. This is the best ompromise I can see right now.

I just talked with my Mom yesterday, though, and she just made me feel SO guilty. Told me that I severely underestimated how hard it would be to leave my baby, and that I should look at any possible option to stay home. I am just torn up about this.

I already feel like I'm giving up my dream for the time being, then getting criticized on top of it is not helping. Has anyone else been in my shoes?

Christine, married to Micah, loving life with Babygirl Charlotte!


Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 3:36pm
but the important thing is that his art and his work is still in his life-- just like I still perform and work at a theater, even though I only occassionaly get paid for performing and the work I do get paid for is mangerial in nature... that art form is still what drives my life.
Yes. We. Can.


Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Mon, 11-10-2008 - 1:14pm
The economy does suck and for

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 11:58pm
I am sorry you are not getting the support you need. Just know that it will all work out in the end. There are plenty of moms that want to work or have to work out side of the home, three hours really isn't bad at all. It is almost like having a date night with you dh. KWIM? ( comparing to length of time of being gone)