First time Mom Going back to Work

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
First time Mom Going back to Work
5
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 3:02pm
I am a first time mom, still on maternity leave. I dread going back to work and leaving ds at day care:((( This is going to be the hardest time of my life, anyone else out there going through the same?? I am hoping dh gets a better job soon, he is trying, but I will still probably have to go back:(
Avatar for murfee628
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 3:21pm
I know the feeling....still remember it from 8 yrs ago, and it was difficult. But, that said, I am the mother of a well-adjusted, intelligent, happy and sociable almost 8 yr old dd, and that has made up for the difficult time I had leaving her at DC while continuing my employment. I will be retiring in 8 yrs, do the math....won't she love having me home when she's 16?

Seriously, though, I feel for you, it is a very emotional time. But lots and lots of people do it, and their kids and lives turn out just fine. Supporting oneself is a great asset in this day and age. I am not here to argue the pros and cons of staying home or working but just offering some insight.

We were at a friend's house awhile back (they have 2 kids) and the mom was talking to us about how she gave up her job to stay home with the kids for X number of years and the kids piped up and said, "You never stayed home with us." I was thinking, "gee, she gave up a pension, salary, etc., and the kids don't even remember her being home."

I hope your transition back to work goes as smooth as it can. It's not easy and the adjustment period can be rough, but in time it will work out if you desire it to.

               Murfee        &nbs

Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 3:36pm
Just a little caution...this is a debate board so if you genuinely need support I would try one of the support boards like this one: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psthinking

Things can get a little rough on this board so just wanted to warn you!

Having said that, I think the idea of having to go back to work is often much worse than the reality. In fact, I don't think my first week away from my 3 month old was nearly as difficult as I thought it would be...and I was breastfeeding too so I had to pump every three hours and be reminded that she was not with me!

We have all adjusted quite nicely and I can honestly say that my DD has thrived in both the care of her grandmas and her Nanny who is currently watching her. I think you will find some of the same positive results from the ladies here who have put their children in good daycare situations.

GOOD LUCK!

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 5:01pm
Thanks, that makes me feel a little better:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 8:28am
I can only share from my perspective, I am a family child care provider, have been since 1992. Every first time mom(and one father, sniff sniff, true story) has come in to my child care with eyes full of tears on their infant's first day, second day, up to a whole week, and linger a while. I encourage them to linger up to 15 minutes, but no more than. Within a few weeks I can tell which moms are making the transition well ... and the numbers have been high for that success. That success depends on me, their job, but the biggest thing is themselves. They have a positive attitude. They felt positive that their infant's needs would be met and their infant's emotional development would be supported to include their mom in mom's absence. They had met with me a few times before their start day. I hope you have already found a good person for your ds.

I have lost only one family during the adjustment period ... the infant whose father (a teacher) shed tears and held his ds for almost an hour each morning for close to three weeks. His wife gave up her work as a nurse, sah and opened a daycare, lol.

Linda

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 8:47am
Having a baby changes your world. The return to work is difficult but rest assured it will not do any harm to your baby. Years of experience have taught me that there is only one thing about working that is harmful and that is the guilt trip if you allow yourself to be sucked into it. There is no reason to feel guilty about working as our work status makes little difference beyond the financial issues. Decide what works best for your family and make the best of it. The only thing that is going to create problems, any way you go, is stressing out over your decision.