~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~
867
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:58pm

Would you or could you possibly forgive a cheating spouse? Why or why not??

Is there hope after infidelity?

Do you think SAHM's are more likely to forgive a cheating husband then WOHM's due to financial dependence/independence?

~Jenn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:14pm

To what offensive racial comments are you referring? I can think of two

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:14pm

Might you point out where I said adultery can't hurt anyone other than the couple involved? Oh. That's right. I didn't.

It would, however, not have been anywhere near the issue to your children, or your XH's mother, or your parents, had it not been an issue to you or your XH. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you one bit for it being an issue for you. But that just goes back to the point about it being primarily an issue for the couple involved. If neither party to a marriage thinks it's a big deal, it isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:16pm
Oh heavens no, not that. A disgusting xenophobic hate-filled piece of garbage she posted a while back with a big thumbs up for what a delightful hoot it was. Had to do with having a right to have her milkshakes served by someone who doesn't have an accent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:18pm
Sorry, should have been a reply to Agus' post #323. She DID say adultery hurts no one.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:20pm

Sometimes I wonder if I block things from memory.


I must. I have been reading some archives and it has been quite illuminating. We had the sleep discussion back in 11-04 and you and I got into it over resentment then worked it out.


Do you ever wonder if we are just stuck in some sort of hell where we discuss the same things over and over again but it is too addictive to stop?


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:20pm

Bullcrap. As a staunch Catholic, my MIL was extremely distressed to hear that xh committed what she sees as an huge sin. She was VERY hurt. Really had nothing to do with me. She felt failure at her raising of him. She was hurt sorely.


And my parents viewed, and still do to an extent, xh as a son. They were hurt by his actions as well. They have expressed, at times, their surprise at how well I handled it and expected me to be more hurt. My level of hurt didn't affect their level of hurt by him. They had a different hurt about my hurt. (damn, that was confusing)







Edited 6/1/2005 4:21 pm ET ET by savcal_ok

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:23pm
No, I do care what Hollie thinks because I know a little bit about what has happened to Hollie in her life, and I don't want to minimize her stuff through my posts. But I think there should be some separation between my honest POV and hers. Not to tolerate racism or rape is a lot more universal IMO than different views on cheating, or even the definition of cheating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:25pm

<,Do you ever wonder if we are just stuck in some sort of hell where we discuss the same things over and over again but it is too addictive to stop? >>


That would be us! lol



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:25pm
I for one find it impossible to believe that Hollie would ever have posted offensive racial comments. She strikes me as an eminently fair-minded person, even if she is from Oklahoma.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:26pm

I'm not sure I could forgive a cheating spouse especially if he said he loved her. I do not think that there is hope after infidelity because the trust is destroyed. I think that stay at home moms are more willing to put up with infidelity and other BS than those who work and I agree that it is due to financial stability.

If he cheated, he wasn't really happy anyway and I think that we as women know when the relationship is strained. Unfortunately many of us are scared to confront him about why he is unhappy or worse can't make the time because of the kids and household duties that accompany it.

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