~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~
867
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:58pm

Would you or could you possibly forgive a cheating spouse? Why or why not??

Is there hope after infidelity?

Do you think SAHM's are more likely to forgive a cheating husband then WOHM's due to financial dependence/independence?

~Jenn

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:27pm

I'll agree with that.


I don't think lying is that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Others find lying a huge deal. Cheating is kind of on the same level....some find it huge, some don't. It is not an universally wrong thing (even though both are mentioned in the 10 commandments)


I feel like I am digging

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:27pm
Do all your family members really need to know the details of your divorce?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:29pm
It's okay, I apologize. I already said my word choice might have been unfortunate. I'm still not that freaked out about cheating, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:35pm

I'm not Hollie, but I'll say this. . .I sought emotional support from family during my separation.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:41pm
I fully agree. But the real potential damage is, as Hollie points out, to the kids. IMO, they don't necessarily need to know why the marriage is ending in living color.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:47pm

I fully admit that I struggle with this. . .my husband and I married early and have weathered TONS of growing pains in our nearly 15 year marriage.


I'm very honest with our children, in an age appropriate manner, about the struggles related to the timing of our marriage and the birth of our first child (our anniversary is in October and her birthday is in December).


There are struggles their father and I have faced that I haven't shared as they were really HIS struggles and I was just along for the ride (god, what a rollercoaster those were).

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:48pm
I highly doubt that Hollie's children know all the details of why her marriage ended. I give her way more credit than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:51pm
So is my stbxh........ aaaaaand???????? at 48yo, ive learned the hard way, looks aint everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:52pm
Well, yes, once there's that much of a change in the family setup the cat's out of the bag. But in the case of a divorcing couple who live together, it's possible to just say, "Look, kids, it's very hard, but your mommy and daddy don't want to be married any more. We both love you very much and will continue to be your mommy and daddy. Someday when you're older we can talk more about why we've made this decision." They don't have to know about dad's cheating, mom's alcoholism, dad's control issues, and so on, if they don't already know, do they?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:58pm
Of course. But if you're divorcing over, say, cheating, and your kids don't know that, then is it really right to say that the cheating directly hurt them? IMO, it's more that the cheating was an issue for the parents, and that the divorce is possibly damaging to the kids. Not as direct a link between the cheating and risk to the kids, IMO>

Pages