~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
~Forgive a Cheating Spouse??~
867
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:58pm

Would you or could you possibly forgive a cheating spouse? Why or why not??

Is there hope after infidelity?

Do you think SAHM's are more likely to forgive a cheating husband then WOHM's due to financial dependence/independence?

~Jenn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:45pm

Supporting someone with an addiction can be enabling. You can't deal with an addiction for someone. That is their choice.

Do they have rehab for sex addicts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:47pm

I would assume if someone is addicted to sex, they know they are making a bad vow when they pledge to forsake all others. That is something you kind of need to put on the table BEFORE the marriage.

Consider it like a pre-existing condition not disclosed on an insurance application. The contract isn't valid if you weren't honest in the beginning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:51pm

I've given you the reasons behind those opinions. I haven't just been saying becuse I said so. Please give your REASONS for why I'm wrong.

Why would I put up with a spouse who demonstrated disrespect for our marriage by cheating on me? Why is taking them back before you even know if they're going to change their ways prefferable? Why should I trust someone who betrayed my trust once already?

Yes, I think people shouldn't trust people who have already proven themselves to be untrustworthy because they are very likely to get burned. Yes, I thin women should think highly enough of themselves to get out of disrespectful relationships. Why do you think they shouldn't? Or do you think having an affair isn't disrespectful?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:53pm

Yes, there are rehab programs for all forms of addiction, but the interesting thing is that your initial response (the one where you talked about enabling) was to a post where I SPECIFICALLY said I wasn't referring to sex addiction.


Here's the post I'm referring to:

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:53pm

LOL, so we should all assume our husbands have been sleeping around?

No, I think it is quite resonable to expect somone who pledged himself to you to keep that pledge and if he does, then there is no risk within the marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:53pm
No problem. It's easy to lose track.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:54pm
But what if the addiction or mental illness hadn't manifested itself behaviorally BEFORE the marriage?

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:56pm

Why?


Because marriage and relationships are about faith.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:56pm

as usual, you completely dodge the question. What if THEY DIDNT KNOW? They had NO IDEA? Try reading what I wrote.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:58pm

What you're not getting (or refusing to acknowledge, I suspect) is that the "It depends" in my responses refer to the fact that circumstances vary from situation to situation. . .and that blanket statements and advice are inappropriate.


I can't tell YOU how long YOU should invest. . .anymore than YOU should tell anyone else how long they should invest.


Virgo

Virgo
 

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