Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

Pages

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:13pm
Yes, same here. Things that started as necessity remained as a preference, even after circumstances improved.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:19pm

I did not use spell check whcihc iam sure you have fiqured out by now.

It's okay; I've spent all day in the sewing room. But for the reason I was there, I'm in my happy place.

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:21pm

It is NOT worth a second of your time and energy to worry about the comments other ppl make, what ppl think. There are people out there who do understand and can relate and you should take the time to find them, you deserve it, your dh deserves it your ds deserves it and your dd deserves it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:29pm
Im out of paper plates but they are on my to get list!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 12:43pm
Happy is good and Iam happy for you. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 2:54pm
Ya know, complaining about how hard you have it when you are pretty lucky in the scheme of things is pretty much the definition of spoiled.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 2:58pm
Jealousy? Of what? I thought you said your life was a never-ending rollercoaster of hell that no one could possibly ever understand or deal with? What do you figure she's jealous of?

************

Kitty

"I would make a long list, but that would take too much time and I have stuff to do like taking over the world and cooking cheese spaghetti."

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:33pm

I can empathize but

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:43pm

LOL, on having to parent a dd and a mom at the same time, yep, I can relate there too.

I also remember that I had tried to explain to this nice couple in the playground what it was like to deal with dd sometimes. They obviously thought I was nuts, because in their eyes dd was close to the model child. Then one day, dd was about 4 or 5, she had a complete meltdown right there. The father of the other family thought he would help and came over to convince dd to get up and calm down. She completely ignored his efforts. After a while he looked at me quite awed and said, "I see what you mean." From then on, he understood, lol.

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:43pm
It's just makes it a little better when you are speaking about your daily life for someone to either understand or realize that they don't understand and say so.

Pages