Frustrated Dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Frustrated Dad
2943
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 3:28am
I really need some opinions on my situation. I am a 30 year old dad with 3 children. I work 10-12 hrs a day 5 days a week and every other Saturday. I am pretty much a homebody, the only time I really go out is on Sundays during football season to watch the games. I do what i need to in order to support my wife and kids. But I am at wits end with my wife and need some help.
My wifes day is as follows. She wakes up any where from 10am - noon (which means 2 of our children (11 and 7) wake up feed themselves and walk to school) at which point she will got downstairs to the kitchen to light a cigarette and call her sister or best friend. During the 1/2hr to an hour that she is on the phone she will make (for herself)and drink about 3 cups of coffee. At around noon when the baby wakes up (11 months) she'll feed him change his diaper and set him on the floor and mostly ignore him as she calls her mother. Usually around 12:30 she'll head out to do errands leaving me with the baby until 1:30 when she'll get home so I can rush out to work where I'm 20 minutes away from and need to be in by 2.
Heres the thing i have no problem being the sole financial gainer in the house hold but I expect certain things. I guess thats the reason for this post to find out if my expectation are to lofty. I expect her to get up in the morning with the children make them breakfast help them pick out cloths make sure they have their homework and send them off to school( I would even help in the morning but i got sick of waking up in the morning while shes still sleeping when i was the one at work last night). I would like breakfast every once in a while made when i wake up i don't expect it but it would be nice. I would like the baby up before 11am I just don't think he should be sleeping that long. i expect laundry the be cleaned, folded and put away! The laundry in our house gets washed and dried them it usually ends up on the dining room table for half the day then it makes its way over to the living room where its folded and left on the couch for a day or two (is it to much to ask to have it put away). I expect the house clean! Cleaning the kitchen for her consist of of doing the dishes and mopping the floor! Cabinets, frig, counters, stove maybe once a month. Cleaning the dinning room consist of her wiping the table and vacuuming one area of the carpet. Bathroom, living room are cleaned in the same manner and the children's room and bedroom upstairs can go months without cleaning! I expect lunch made before i got to work! No breakfast and lunch not even a packed lunch/diner!I expect a home cooked diner for my children! Not pizza, macaroni or canned spaghetti!!! Is this to much to ask? i expect diner when I get home, real food not something she sends me on yoville or farmtown, which she's on until 2am!! DO I EXPECT TO MUCH? I thought these where to things a stay at home mom did? Are my expectations to old school? I need answers I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I don't know how much longer I can last.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:46pm

LOL, i would never call my child spoiled but i've come mighty close.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:46pm
Actually the meds work very well. They have been changed a few times and increased. The actions done are actually ON the meds. And..meds only last for about 10 hrs. And with my child, I am talking RIGHT on that amount of time too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:48pm
To some it might be. Since my dh and I spend evening together almost every night, I don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:48pm
No doubt it makes it easier/better (although aren't we all supposed to just "suck it up").
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:51pm

Okay but since you are on a tight budget,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:54pm

Thanks :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 3:57pm
Oh, I do understand that but since I have been going through this for so many years, it gets frustrating speaking about almost anything that has to do with my life. It strains relationships also. I try not to mention many things also so I don't have to "hear it" because some people just do not understand and probably never will. Unfortunately that saddens me not to be able to share some things with the people I love.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 4:16pm
If the difficulties occur while she is on the meds, then either the meds are, in fact, not working or they are simply the wrong meds. How old is she?

~o~ ...^^^... ~o~

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2009
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 4:25pm
The difficulites are not because of the ADHD. We know the difference between the meds working and not working as we have gone through the meds for 6 years now and the ADHD for probably about 8 yrs. now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: daddy_gil
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 4:26pm
when somebody doesn't understand i would guess it's easier to pretend to understand, judge or ridicule ( in front of you or behind your back )...FWIW, i have a lady friend from bible study whose life has been turned upside down.

 

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